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Guy who lost fantasy football league had to make embarrassing calendar

Fantasy-baseball-loser-calendar

From this day forward, every person who comes in last place in their fantasy sports league should have to create an embarrassing calendar of him or herself. It’s a phenomenal idea, though I’m not sure anyone could pull it off as well as Henry Stern here did.

A Deadspin reader recently shared his fantasy football league’s hilarious punishment for the last place owner, and I can’t stop laughing.

Henry, who missed the playoffs and finished in last, had to create a calendar of himself in compromising and embarrassing positions. This was part of an agreed-upon punishment for the last-place owner in the league. Stern told the New York Daily News all his friends who compete in the league agreed upon the punishment because they wanted a consequence so owners missing the playoffs would have incentive to continue trying.

The first year they began doing the punishments, the last-place owner had to get a tattoo. The second year they did it the last-place guy had to perform standup comedy. Last year the punishment was posing for a “;Titanic’-style, full-frontal nude portrait,” according to Stern.

The nude portrait appeared on the cover of the calendar, which saw Stern in many great poses.

The Prince Fielder Body Issue imitation that you see above was probably the best, though there are plenty more on Stern’s Instagram page.

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Miss Texas Monique Evans may have thrown the worst first pitch ever (Video)

Just when you thought ceremonial first pitches couldn’t get any worse than 50 Cent’s, Miss Texas Monique Evans showed us that the worst was yet to come.

Evans threw out the first pitch prior to Friday’s Rangers-Angels game, and she totally bombed.

Evans appeared to recognize that getting it to the plate overhand was out of the question, so she attempted to toss it underhand. But the ball ended up on the ground as if she were bowling or playing some bocce ball.

Someone just needs to help her with her mechanics and let her know that you have to push off with your opposite foot! At least she gets some artistic points for her perfect finishing pose:

Miss Texas Monique Evans Rangers first pitch

Cash Money: Brother of Tennessee Little Leaguer has awesome name

Cash Money brother Blake

The brother of Tennessee Little League World Series participant Blake Money has the best name this side of Muthaf-cka(over) Jones.

Blake Money, one of the stars of South Nashville Little League, has three siblings. One of his two brothers is actually named Cash. That means he’s Cash Money.

Someone, of course, notified rapper Birdman, who is the co-founder of Cash Money Records. Birdman happily retweeted:

You may have noticed that the picture at the top is from 2013. That’s because South Nashville is playing in the LLWS for the second straight year.

Cash Money even came prepared with appropriate eyewear. Love it.

Dog the Bounty Hunter caught War Machine’s snakes

Dog the Bounty HunterWar Machine was caught by US Marshals and local police in Simi Valley, Calif., on Friday, and the surprise was that Dog the Bounty Hunter was not on the scene (that we know of).

Dog the Bounty Hunter is a famous bounty hunter whose pursuits of criminals were chronicled on the A&E show “Dog the Bounty Hunter” and more recently, “Dog and Beth: On the Hunt.”

Dog promised this week that he would be pursuing War Machine, who was on the run after an alleged assault on Christy Mack last Friday.

Dog kept saying on Twitter that he was getting close to War Machine, though it does not appear that he was there when the former UFC fighter was captured. However, it looks like Dog did make it to War Machine’s (aka Jon Koppenhaver) apartment in downtown San Diego, where he found a few snakes that needed care.

Here are the tweets Dog sent on Friday, several hours before War Machine’s capture:

Countynewscenter.com in San Diego produced this video which indicates Dog reached the apartment and found the snakes:

Downtown San Diego is about three hours south of Simi Valley, where Koppenhaver was found.

Stacy Peralta breaks sad news Jay Adams died of heart attack

Jay Adams

Jay Adams, a legendary skateboarder who was one of the three main characters portrayed in the skateboarding movie “Lords of Dogtown,” died late Thursday/early Friday in Mexico from a heart attack.

Stacy Peralta and Tony Alva were the two other main skateboarders portrayed in the movie. Peralta went on to become a filmmaker and wrote “Lords of Dogtown,” with Dogtown being a reference to the area in Venice where he and the others were from and did their skating/surfing. Peralta also directed and co-wrote the “Dogtown and Z-Boys,” a documentary about the group of skateboarding pioneers.

Peralta broke the news of Adams’ death via Instagram Friday morning:

“I just received the terribly sad news that Jay Adams passed away last night due to a massive heart attack, send your love.”

Adams, 53, had been in Puerto Escondido, Mexico, on a 3-month surfing vacation with his wife and surfing buddies Solo Scott and Allen Sarlo. Scott told XGames.com that Adams stopped surfing Thursday because he was feeling sick and began having chest pains around midnight.

“His wife called us over in the middle of the night and we administered CPR until we could get an ambulance, and they kept working on him the whole way but he never revived,” Scott told XGames.com.

Peralta gave this quote about Adams to XGames.com.

“I’ve had the good fortune of spending decades in this sport, and he was the purest form of skateboarder that I’ve ever seen,” Peralta told XGames.com. “He was literally skateboarding incarnate, and the genius of it was he wasn’t the best at anything, he just was it. I’ve said before that he was the original virus that got so many people hooked on skateboarding. Now the original spore is gone, but that virus lives on in so many others. Jay’s passing reminds all of us and reaffirms that we’re connected. We’re all rolling down the sidewalk together.”

Adams’ character in “Lords of Dogtown” was portrayed by actor Emile Hirsch.

TMZ says it was the first time Adams had been allowed to leave the country in 20 years; he has been in and out of jail on felony drug charges over the past few decades.

Sadly, Adams’ young death does not come as a surprise. The rebellious one of the three, Adams refused to be a conformist and had a difficult time adjusting when sponsors became a big part of the sport. He got heavily involved with gangs and was convicted of assault in a gay bashing incident in 1982 that resulted in the death of a man.

Adams became a heroin addict and was busted in 2005 for helping a drug deal involving crystal meth.

Adams did a really insightful interview with Juice Magazine back in 2000 that I encourage you to read if you want more info on him. In this answer, he talked about his heroin addiction and his tendency to get into fights when he was younger. The language he used contains some profanity.

“The best fight is like the fight against addiction of heroin. That’s a gnarly fight because I let the shit take over me for a while and it became the main thing I wanted to do. It’s a fight to not want to do it. That’s a real fight to try and stay sober. As far as beating people up and shit there’s nothing cool about that. I used to think it was cool to go to a party and have people fear me and just be a crazy guy and usually that was alcohol-induced or drugs and shit. It’s not cool to go and ruin peoples nights and try to make them bleed. Maybe I’m older now or something.

“I was stuck doing heroin and self destructing for a little while. Kind of like this last year and a half or so I didn’t travel. This is the first time in a long time I didn’t. I let drugs take over and control my life and bring me down to some lows I didn’t even know existed. Mainly it was heroin and I suggest don’t do the shit cause you just might like it. I didn’t ever stick a needle in my arm until I was thirty-six and I always was against the shit. Then after I did it, I let it become my number one thing to do. Where that’s what I thought about when I woke up and I really let it fuckin’ become a big thing in my life, which it shouldn’t be. So I’m just saying that drugs are fuckin’ gnarly and they’ll take you down. Drugs are just bad. They’ve got no part in surfing or skating. I kinda mean more like hard drugs. I’ve never heard of some chick sucking a dog’s dick for a bong hit and going ruining their life over smoking weed. Crack, heroine and shit are fuckin’ gnarly. And I’m not saying to kids go out and smoke weed cause for me it’s just all or nothing. I’m pretty stoked on the way kids are now days. When I was a kid if you didn’t smoke weed and do drugs you were lame and now a lot of kids don’t do drugs and it’s cool not to do drugs. I just hope they don’t have to go through all the shit that guys from my generation did with addiction and shit to drugs because it did absolutely no good for me as far as skating and surfing goes. Even alcohol, a lot of kids think it’s cool to drink beer and skate and I think it’s just really stupid. It does absolutely no good for you.”

Online dating picture tips, advice and tricks to avoid

Is there anything worse than checking out someone’s online dating profile pictures, liking what you see, and getting together with them only to find out they look nothing like their photos? Or how about when you realize that you missed some key detail in a person’s photos that could have saved you the time and effort of actually going on a date? That’s the worst. It’s a waste of your time, it’s a waste of my time and, frankly, it sucks.

Yes, we’ve been there before and done enough online dating where we feel comfortable sharing our tips with you. Heck, we consider it our obligation and duty to pass along this valuable knowledge.

With that in mind, I’ll give you some of the tips and tricks for online dating pictures I’ve learned during my time as a single, successful guy (Brad from Fast Times voice). This is expert-level stuff, too, so heed my advice and save yourself some time and effort.

WHAT TO AVOID

Lack of full-body shots/only chest-up shots

Have you ever flipped through someones pics, thought they looked really good, met up with them, and then couldn’t believe how their body looked? How did that happen? How did I end up on a date with someone whose butt was the size of a pregnant rhinoceros?

Ahhh … you missed that they only posted pictures from the chest-up!

You can look for signs of body thickness based on necks, arms and chest, but that doesn’t always tell the full story about someone’s looks.

If someone shares strictly chest-up photos on their profile, you can safely figure they are packing a lot of heat down below. Now this isn’t some post intended to bash fat people; this is about being honest with your suitors and not hiding who you are. I and many others happen to like girls with a little extra (and vice versa for girls with guys). Just be honest about what you look like rather than try to pull a fast one.

Think you’re cool that you tricked someone into going on a date with you? Yeah, it’s not going to be so much fun when you’re wondering why they never texted you again.

Be honest. Don’t try to deceive.

Overhead camera angle selfies

Beware of the overhead camera angle selfies. One of the easiest ways a girl can make herself more attractive in photos is by using the overhead camera angle selfie. You’ll know this picture because it looks like the girl is extending her arms a few feet above her head for the selfie. This angle has the funny ability to make a girl’s chest look larger than it is. It also has the dual ability to hide undesirable facial features. Got a large nose? Prominent chin that juts out? Offset eyebrows? It’s unbelievable how someone can hide all these things by using a cleverly angled picture.

Sunglasses photos

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Mahiedine Mekhissi-Benabbad disqualified from first place finish in race for premature celebration

When it comes to the 3,000-meter steeplechase, France’s Mahiedine Mekhissi-Benabbad is quite accomplished. He took home the silver medal in the event at both the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing as well as the London games in 2012. Mekhissi-Benabbad also captured the gold at the 2010 and 2012 European Championships.

During this year’s European Championships, the 29-year-old established a commanding lead in the 3,000-meter steeplechase final when he decided to prematurely celebrate his pending victory. Comfortably ahead, Mekhissi-Benabbad removed his shirt, put it in his mouth, and motioned toward the crowd. He then cruised the rest of the way to the finish line.

As you can probably imagine, Mekhissi-Benabbad’s display didn’t go over to well with some. Spain protested, leading to this decision.

Fellow Frenchman Yoann Kowal is now officially listed as the winner, because his teammate did this.

mahiedine-mekhissi-benabbad-celebrate

H/T Bleacher Report