University of Iowa student Samantha Goudie has become something of an American folk hero after blowing a .341 following her arrest for allegedly trying to run onto the field during Iowa’s 30-27 loss to Northern Illinois on Saturday.
The University of Iowa Department of Public Safety released all information related to game-day arrests, and one of the people listed was Goudie, whose stats were much more impressive than anyone else’s that day:
Goudie, Samantha Lynne, 22 of Iowa City, IA for Public Intox at Kinnick Stadium at 1321 hours. Goudie was stopped for trying to enter the field. Goudie was unsteady on her feet. Goudie blew .341 PBT.
Read that last part. You see what that says? Blew a .341. A .341. Tony Gwynn’s career batting average was lower than .341. Your average Iowa student has a GPA lower than 341. You feeling me? I mean a .341 would put her behind what, only Ted Williams in the history of the game? This girl isn’t just a first-ballot Hall of Famer, she deserves the whole freaking museum and city named after her.
But if you thought that the .341 BAC was impressive — and we dare you to show us something better — then this story really is just beginning. For those who like hanging with people who are down, Goudie is your dream girl. DREAM GIRL.
As Deadspin pointed out to everyone, Goudie has the type of Twitter handle that perfectly matches her imbibing accomplishment: Vodka Samm.
Ladies and gentlemen, we introduce you to the wonderful world of Vodka Samm’s Twitter account, which is full of pictures of her drinking, partying, showing off her tattoos, and sharing talks about getting drunk.
Be warned, there is some foul language ahead.
Before we get into Vodka Samm’s greatest hits, we must first show you how proud she is of her .341. She tweeted about the whole affair on Saturday:
Just went to jail #yolo
— Samantha Goudie (@Vodka_samm) August 31, 2013
Blew a .341 in jail
— Samantha Goudie (@Vodka_samm) August 31, 2013
My mom had to get me out of jail and had to take a breathalizer #lmao
— Samantha Goudie (@Vodka_samm) August 31, 2013
I'm going to get .341 tattooed on me because its so epic
— Samantha Goudie (@Vodka_samm) August 31, 2013
Some kid outside the gas station goes are you the girl that got arrested at kinnick. So that's that
— Samantha Goudie (@Vodka_samm) September 1, 2013
Girl waiting for court with me goes "I wish I knew the girl who blew a .341" I said hi
— Samantha Goudie (@Vodka_samm) September 1, 2013
She is quite proud of herself, as she should be.
But Goudie’s Twitter account is full of other amazing alcohol-centric tweets.
Head over to Page 2 of the story for the rest of the awesomeness.
