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Darwin Nominees

Ben Roethlisberger throws a pass

Ugly Details from the Ben Roethlisberger Sexual Assault Police Report

So Ben Roethlisberger escaped criminal charges for the alleged sexual assault incident in Milledgeville, Ga., on Monday but he’s not escaped public criticism now that more information on the case has been released. We knew the police …

Jamie McCourt Slurs Jews, Embarrasses Herself with Idiotic Comment

Although I was quite aware that Jamie McCourt is delusional and living in a fantasy world, I had no idea that she was this mindless. Seriously. Calling herself the “face of the Dodgers” was bad enough and indicative of the breadth of her …

Coach Praises His Team for ‘Crime’

In yet another example of how the world has turned into a bizarro universe, Texas A&M Commerce football coach Guy Morriss actually had positive words for his players following their alleged theft of newspapers on campus. Part of the reason why …

Murderer Mark Becker Was a Victim

I realize that the lines of sports and politics will be somewhat blurred by the following post but I was so enraged by the comments I heard I felt the need to respond. A Butler County jury in Iowa found Mark Becker guilty for notoriously murdering …

Car Wash Proof: Lenny Dykstra Has Officially Gone Out of Business

Not more than two years ago, we asked the question here at LBS: Would you let Lenny Dykstra give you stock tips? Turns out the best answer would have been “no,” considering Nails filed for bankruptcy a few months ago, citing $50,000 in …

Report: Gilbert Arenas Pulled a Gun on Teammate Javaris Crittenton

When the news came down last week that the League was investigating Gilbert Arenas for bringing a gun to team facilities, I joked that he needed it for protection from teammate Caron Butler. Even though I was only joking in my post, it turns out it …

Gilbert Was Just Making Sure Caron Butler didn’t Mug Him in the Locker Room

For the second time in his career, Gilbert Arenas is the target of a weapons possession probe by the NBA. Five years ago he was charged with criminal weapons possession and wound up suspended for a game as punishment. This time around, the penalty …

Susan Finklestein Offered Sex to an Officer for Phillies World Series Tickets

No, that story is not a joke. You figure some fans are willing to go pretty far to get tickets to a big game — an Arizona Cardinals fan got his butt tattooed for NFC Championship Game tickets — but Susan Finklestein has taken the game to …

Braylon Edwards Finally Connected on Something

Let’s see, the Browns lost 23-20 in overtime to drop to 0-4 and Braylon Edwards was catchless, putting up a freaking goose egg in the game. Whatever production he lacked against the Bengals he apparently tried to make up for after the game. …

Who Owns $400,000 Worth of Jewelry?

First off, let’s make this clear: nobody deserves to get robbed. Secondly, what kind of jerkoffs wait for a moment when they know a guy’s going to be gone playing in a game to rob him? How weak is that? Well I guess that’s exactly …

Shawne Merriman vs. Tila Tequila … Who’s the Liar?

Let’s get this one straight: I care as much about Tila Tequila as Sheriff Department spokesman Jan Caldwell who called the accusing party, “Tina Nguyen.” And if you’re Shawne Merriman, fooling around with a girl best known for …

baseball

Troy O’Leary’s Ex-Wife Is an Escort on the Side

So, you ever wonder what many of these chicks did before they scored themselves a baller-man? Many of them were Hooters waitresses, strippers, models, or pretty much anything else that associates making money off a hot body. Thing is rarely do any of …

Vanessa Colbert Says Travis Henry’s Fathered Two More Illegitimate Children

You might be asking yourself why this story sounds so familiar. The answer is pretty simple: at last check, former Titans and Broncos running back Travis Henry had nine kids by nine different women. If you thought that was impressive then hold onto …

So Jeremy Shockey Gets Passed Out Drunk and We All Have to Hear it?

Honestly, this is getting ridiculous. So Jeremy Shockey goes partying in Las Vegas, gets passed out drunk, and now it becomes a big story? The way TMZ told it it became absurd. They described the story as Shockey being found “unconscious” …

Ryan Leaf Was Fiending for Hydrocodone Drug Pretty Badly

There are plenty of guys who turn out to be busts in the NFL, though many of them aren’t on the same scale as Ryan Leaf. That’s probably why Leaf’s problems post-playing days seem to be so intriguing. Done with his job at West Texas …

Immature Aqib Talib Sure Loves to Fight

The last time we checked in with Buccaneers cornerback Aqib Talib he was brawling with Cory Boyd at the rookie symposium. A year later, we see that not much has changed; Boyd is no longer on an NFL team and Talib is still fighting with teammates. …

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