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#pounditMonday, September 25, 2023

Tim Tebow Is Waiting for Jesus to Take Off his Headset and Congratulate Him

Tim Tebow recently released his autobiography, Through My Eyes. The guy is such a rock star that his book sold out in many stores and the lines to meet him at his signings were filled with hundreds of people. A good amount of his book dealt with religion and the influence it has on his life, and he discussed it recently in an interview with Sally Quinn of The Washington Post.

There are so many incredible aspects of the interview, beginning with the second paragraph where Quinn describes Tebow as “drop dead gorgeous.” My favorite part was when Quinn quoted an excerpt from the book that talked about Tebow’s decision to change the Bible verse on his eyeblack from Philippians 4:13 to John 3:16. Apparently Urban Meyer wasn’t wild about the change, but the Gators won. Take it away, Tim:

His coach was elated. After the game he came over to Tebow. “Atta boy, Great job,” he said. You finished. I love you.”

“As great as that was, “ writes Tebow,” how much greater will it feel when we get to heaven and Jesus takes off His headset, opens up His arms, gives us a big hug, and says, ‘Atta boy, Great job. You finished. I love you.”

Waiting for Jesus to take off his headset huh. I wonder what kind of play caller Jesus is. Think he runs the spread like Urban Meyer or is more conservative like Jim Tressel? Jesus strikes me as the ballsy type, so I would imagine he likes to open things up, put Tebow in the shotgun, and let him run the spread option. My friends in Nebraska are telling me that’s not true, and that Jesus believes in power football and blowing opposing teams off the line of scrimmage. Sources are also telling LBS that Florida had made Jesus the head coach in waiting for when Urban Meyer stepped away from the game, but the athletic director passed him up in favor of Will Muschamp. In the meantime, Christ has taken the year off the gather his thoughts. Rumors say he’s considering a move to the NFL to join Tebow in Denver.

Alright, enough of Jesus. There was much more from that interview well worth your time.

As you could imagine, Tebow is big on girls who believe in the same faith as him.

Would he marry outside his faith? “You never know,” he says. The important thing for him is “It’s attractive when girls have faith.” That, he says, “is a big thing for me.”

Alright, that’s definitely fair and no surprise. Although I imagine being as famous as he is, it’s probably tough to find real women. I don’t envy his search when it comes to that.

Lastly, it appears as if Tim Tebow may belong to the David Tyree school of homosexuality and that’s something his publicist wants him to avoid mentioning.

Only once, when asked about same-sex marriage, did his publicist, on the other end of the phone, protectively jump in to object that that was off message.

So yes, they are protecting Tebow from a P.C. windfall if his views on same-sex marriage came out. Knowing Tebow and what a good, loving, and caring person he is, I would think he would support things that make people happy. Looks like that’s not the case.

It’s OK though, when we’re all headed for Judgment Day, we know where Tebow will be going. He’ll be preparing for the pat on the back from his offensive coordinator. As for the rest of us? Maybe it won’t be as pretty.

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