After putting together a season that featured 90 catches, 1,327 yards and 17 touchdowns in 2011, Rob Gronkowski decided he wanted to enjoy himself during the offseason. The fun started immediately when Gronk was spotted dancing shirtless and partying after the Patriots Super Bowl loss to the Giants, an incident that irritated more than a few fans. Following the Super Bowl dance party, Gronkowski embarked on a summer that included campaigning to appear on the cover of Madden, answering questions about Tim Tebow’s virginity and apparently being paid big bucks to attend parties.
During his recent sit-down with Sports Illustrated’s Chris Ballard (the same one in which he revealed that trains hard to score chicks), Gronk talked about a party he was paid five figures to make an appearance at. He had hoped it would be a party where “a bunch of kids were doing kegstands,” but instead it was a bunch of lame-o’s he had to dominate in a shotgunning competition.
So while the 21-year-olds fiddled with their cans, trying to puncture the casing with car keys only to create embarrassing miniature geysers of froth, Gronk calmly pressed into the bottom of his can with an enormous thumb. In doing so he created a perfect rectangle from which to inhale the Bud. It was the move of a master. Then Gronk looked up, assessing the competition. “That’s it?” he said. “Oh, I gotta win this one.”
Rob’s father, Gordy Gronkowski, said the money Rob is offered to make appearances like that is “stupid money” and that he can’t turn it down. Gronk made at least $10,000 for the appearance, but he was hoping he could have raged even harder. After all, we know he loves a good beer bong rip.
“I was hoping it would have been just an all-out college party,” Gronkowski said. “It would have been worth it. I would have been there all night, I would have gotten hammered.”
For the record, this is also the same guy who revealed that he used to fill 5-Hour Energy bottles with vodka or tequila and take them out on the town while he was in school at Arizona. The Patriots may have declared the summer of Gronk to be officially over now that the season is underway, but something tells me we’re just getting started.
