Charles Barkley made a Kellen Winslow ‘stroke it’ joke on live TV (Video)

Kellen WinslowWe can always count on Charles Barkley for two things — keeping up with current affairs and not having a filter. Both of those qualities were on full display on Monday night when he made a totally inappropriate and hilarious joke about Kellen Winslow Jr.

As most of you know, a witness accused Winslow of masturbating in his car prior to his arrest for possession of synthetic marijuana back in November. The incident took place in a Target store parking lot. On Monday, Barkley was praising Golden State Warriors guard Klay Thompson for having a smooth shooting stroke. Here’s where Sir Charles went from there.

“That boy can really stroke it right there. I’m gonna take him to Target.”

Shaq then got in on the act by adding, “Make sure you roll the windows up.” As usual, it was Ernie Johnson who directed the attention back to the highlights while the rest of the crew laughed hysterically.

Between Boston Market poking fun at Winslow, that hilarious GIF we showed you and now Barkley, the New York Jets tight end is getting it from all angles. Next time he should probably just stay home with his containers that are labeled “Mr. Happy” and “Funky Monkey.”

Video via The Big Lead

A visual depiction of Kellen Winslow jerking it (GIF)

Kellen WinslowWe have no idea what it looked like by the car that day in November when Kellen Winslow was accused by a witness of jerking off prior to his marijuana arrest. In fact, Winslow’s rep says he was just changing clothes.

But had Winslow been playing some pocket pool as he was alleged to do, we imagine it may have looked a little something like this. Well, it really wouldn’t have, but @nick_pants on Twitter created that incredible GIF mashing up the Winslow arrest with the iconic pool scene from “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.”

I mean Nick Pants really just nailed all the details, too. You notice the two open containers of Vaseline in the bathroom? How about the Boston Market takeout bag on the dining table? That was so well done. And if you don’t get those references, catch up on the full story here.

Boston Market sends great message to Kellen Winslow Jr after cop incident

Kellen Winslow JetsThis Kellen Winslow Jr. story just keeps getting better.

Earlier Friday, LBS’ Steve DelVecchio told you that a witness accused Winslow of masturbating in his car prior to his arrest for possession of synthetic weed back in November.

One of the great details from the story — which is a must read — is that Winslow allegedly told a police officer who asked what he was doing in the parking lot that he was looking for a Boston Market restaurant and got lost. Well Boston Market obviously heard about the story, because they sent this fantastic tweet to Winslow:

Well played Boston Market, well played. And dang, now I’m really hungry.

Witness claims Kellen Winslow was masturbating in car before marijuana arrest

Kellen-Winslow-JetsBack in November, New York Jets tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. was found to be in possession of synthetic marijuana outside a Target store in New Jersey. That is now officially the most boring part of the story from the day of his encounter with police. On Friday, Dom Cosentino of NJ.com cited court documents that make mention of masturbation in a vehicle, Boston Market, and empty containers labeled “Mr. Happy” and “Funky Monkey.”

According to the incident report from Nov. 19 at 5:30 p.m., police were called to the Target parking lot when a woman claimed she saw Winslow masturbating in his car. The woman claimed in the redacted report that she had parked next to a black Cadillac Escalade and a man, later identified as Winslow, was sitting in the car with the window down.

“As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was,” the report said. “As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account.”

Winslow reportedly sprang to an upright position when a police officer approached his window. When the officer asked what he was up to, Winslow allegedly told him he was looking for a Boston Market restaurant but had gotten lost. He was “slouched in his seat and moving around,” but the cop said Winslow’s genitals were not exposed.

Next, the officer said he noticed plastic bags marked “Mr. Happy” and empty containers labeled “Funky Monkey” scattered throughout Winslow’s vehicle. When asked about those, Winslow allegedly told police that he bought the stuff at a gas station and smoked it at home because the NFL doesn’t drug test for it and it helps him relax. Police say he then consented to a vehicle search and was free to go after a few items were taken.

Lab results came back on Dec. 23 that revealed Winslow was in possession of synthetic marijuana. He was charged on Dec. 30 and has plead not guilty. While the incident report listed lewdness among the alleged crimes, Winslow was not charged with anything of the sort.

Allegedly trashing a rental home in California doesn’t look so bad now, does it?

Winslow’s rep later issued a statement saying the tight end was simply changing his clothes when the woman saw him, not JO’ing.

“Kellen pulled over to a parking lot to smoke what he thought at the time was a legal substance,” the statement read. “He changed his clothes in his vehicle as to not smell like smoke when he returned home. There was absolutely nothing inappropriate that took place and if there was police would have investigated further and charged Kellen which they did not. This will be the only time we will comment on this unfounded and ridiculous claim.”

Also see: Boston Market sends great message to Kellen Winslow Jr after cop incident
Also see: Kellen Winslow masturbating now in GIF form

Kellen Winslow picked the Patriots and Broncos for the AFC Championship

Kellen-Winslow-JetsThrough the first two months of the season, the New York Jets looked like they might actually make some noise in the AFC East. Then the bye week came, and Rex Ryan’s team has not won since. New York’s 23-3 loss to the Miami Dolphins on Sunday was its third straight. Geno Smith and company have scored a total of 20 points in the past three weeks, and guys like Kellen Winslow IIseem to be getting discouraged.

By record alone, the Jets are not out of the playoff race. The AFC remains wide open, with the Baltimore Ravens and their 6-6 record clinging to the second wild card spot — just ahead of the 6-6 Miami Dolphins due to the head-to-head tie-breaker. Despite that, Winslow recently gave an interesting prediction for the AFC Championship Game.

“I got the pats vs broncos in AFC championship game and Panthers vs Seahawks in NFC championship,” he tweeted at free agent wide receiver Donte Stallworth on Monday, according to Newsday’s Kimberley A. Martin.

Winslow has since deleted the tweet. He also sounded discouraged when speaking to reporters after Sunday’s loss.

“We’ve lost three straight, so, obviously [that's] not good,” he said, via Rich Cimini of ESPNNewYork.com. “But we’ll go down swinging. We have to go to work. This is our job. It’s not like the season is over. It might be record-wise, but it’s still football. We still love it.”

The Jets are only one game out of the playoff race, but really two because the Dolphins and Ravens both hold the tie-breaker over them. With four games remaining in the season, you’d like to think they haven’t throw in the towel. Having said that, they see the same product we see on the field every weekend. The offense is getting worse by the week. When your starting quarterback has thrown eight interceptions and zero touchdowns in five games, confidence is tough to find.

H/T Deadspin

Kellen Winslow released by Seahawks

This year’s cut-down period for NFL teams featured very few surprises. Until now. The Seahawks released tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. on Saturday, as first reported by Adam Schefter.

Winslow clashed with new Buccaneers head coach Greg Schiano and was traded to the Seahawks after not showing up to OTAs. Seattle offered a 7th-round pick for Winslow when most other teams wouldn’t have offered anything. After he caught just three passes in preseason action, the team decided to cut him, feeling he wasn’t worth the $3.3 million he was set to earn for the season.

Winslow acknowledged in June that his surgically-repaired knee hampered his ability.

“If I was healthy, which I never will be again, I would be Aaron Hernandez and (Jason) Witten together,” he said.

Winslow has played 92 games over a seven-year career. He caught 75 passes for 763 yards and two touchdowns last season, which would lead some to believe he can still play. While Winslow probably could still play, he’s not much of a weapon anymore. It’s honestly impressive that he’s continued to play this long given his knee problems.

Kellen Winslow accused of trashing his rental home in California

Kellen Winslow Jr. recently moved out of his $9,000 per month rental property in Rancho Santa Fe, Cali., and according to the owners of the home he left it in horrendous shape. Ahmad and Nona Zarei have filed suit against Winslow alleging $130,000 in damages to their house which came fully furnished with Persian rugs. Winslow rented the home for six months.

According to the claim obtained by U-T San Diego, “Every corner of the home was damaged” and Winslow left the carpeting “stained with dog urine and also littered with dog feces.” The Zareis say the house was left with a “putrid stench of animal waste.”

In what sounds like a scene from “The Hangover” the way it has been described, the owners also say there are holes in the walls and cigarette and cigar burns on the outdoor furniture. Naturally, Winslow’s attorney Brian Watkins has called the claim “bogus” and says it is merely an attempt by the owners to extort a professional athlete for financial gain.

“They want to portray it as though Kellen Winslow had a fraternity of football friends partying,” Watkins said. “But the house was rented for his wife, who was pregnant. She was living there with her mother and a housekeeper. There was no partying going on. Kellen was rarely even there.”

The suit also claims that Winslow’s real estate agent came to survey the property and described it as “normal behavior for a 25-year-old with millions.” Unless the Zareis went in and trashed their own home in a short amount of time, this seems like it would be an easy case to solve. Either Winslow treated it like a college dorm room or he didn’t. If he did, he should face the consequences.

H/T Black Sports Online
Photo credit: Fernando Medina-US PRESSWIRE