Vladimir Guerrero hits a double on 50 Cent’s first pitch (Video)

Vladimir Guerrero 50 Cent50 Cent’s first pitch at a Mets-Pirates game last week was one of the worst ceremonial first pitches we’ve ever seen. It was so bad it went partway up the first base line and nearly hit a photographer, and it left the entertainer giving a pretty bizarre explanation for it. But the pitch wasn’t so bad that Vladimir Guerrero wouldn’t have been able to get a piece of it.

The folks over at MLB FanCave took the 50 Cent first pitch and knew exactly what to do with it, splicing in the former Angels MVP and notorious bad-ball hitter getting a double on it.

How clever and awesome was that?

But wait! MetsKevin11 may have 1-upped the Vlad video. Here’s 50 Cent striking out Bartolo Colon:

Vladimir Guerrero has 8 kids by 5 women

Vladimir Guerrero was busy being more than just a hit factory during his Major League career … he apparently was also building a ball team off of it.

TMZ obtained a paternity suit filed against Guerrero, and the documents state that the former AL MVP has 8 kids with 5 different women. Not only does that seem irresponsible, but it’s also a financial strain; documents state that Guerrero pays over $25k a month in child support spread out to the five mothers.

If you do the math, Guerrero pays just over $300,000 a year in child support, which means he needs to earn nearly the league minimum just to pay for his kids.

I think we know why he’s so desperate to stay in the bigs.

This really isn’t a laughing matter. Between guys like him, Travis Henry, and Antonio Cromartie, it’s sickening to see such irresponsibility when it comes to parenting a child.

Vladimir Guerrero Out, David Murphy in for Texas in Game 2

Vladimir Guerrero served as the DH for Texas 140 times this year. It only took one game for him to prove to Ron Washington and fans everywhere why he’s best suited with a bat in his hands and not a glove. Vlad let a routine ball to fight field go past him in the 8th inning of Game 1 Wednesday night and he also mishandled another ball hit down the line that same inning. He had half of Texas’ season-high four errors in Game 1 and will be taking a seat for Game 2 after the dreadful performance.

David Murphy, who had a pinch hit RBI single in Game 1, will crack the starting lineup as the left fielder while Nelson Cruz moves over to right. Murphy played 82 games in left field and 51 more in right this year, so he’s used to playing the outfield. Murphy OPSd .806 in the regular season and is posting a .789 line in the post-season. Murphy’s offensive production was similar to Vlad’s in the regular season and David is hitting better in the playoffs, so the defensive upgrade is well worth the change. It is likely to be a low-scoring game, unlike the shocker in Game 1, so a defensive miscue can make the difference. Texas is wise to make the change, but we’ll still likely see Vlad pinch hit late in the game.

Magglio Ordonez and Vladimir Guerrero Get Haircuts to Turn Slumps Around

Magglio Ordonez and Vladimir Guerrero have been two of the premier sluggers in the game. Vlad is an MVP winner and Mags has won the batting title and is a six-time All-Star. But both players have endured tough starts to the season. Vlad’s been hampered by a torn pectoral muscle and is experiencing his worst offensive season ever. Mags hasn’t had any injuries that we know of but he’s having his worst offensive year ever. Perhaps coincidentally, both players got haircuts on the same day to try and change things up:

Now if you ask me, that sort of long hair has no business in baseball in the first place when you have to wear hats and batting helmets every day because they make both harder to fit. It also appears as if the changes to the ‘dos made a difference — Vlad broke out of his slump with just his second home run of the season. The Mags went 2-for-4 which is nice, but he continued his alarming season-long lack of power. This is a year where we’ve seen quite a few superstars drastically change their hair. There’s no doubt these guys were trying to turn their fortunes at the plate around with the cuts — a slump seriously messes with your head.

Vladimir Guerrero Lied About His Age, I’m Still Not Convinced He’s Not 40

Under pressure from ESPN reporting last year, Houston Astros SS Miguel Tejada finally admitted he was two years older than what he had told MLB all along. That in turn persuaded Julio Franco to come out and admit he was really in his 50s when he played his last years of pro ball with Atlanta and New York. Vladimir Guerrero of the Angels wasn’t so moved by Tejada’s admission and ESPN’s investigation to come clean. Rather, Vlad blew his cover answering a question in an interview:

Guerrero’s admission – initially unintentional – came in response to a question about his offseason knee surgery. Manager Mike Scioscia had said the surgery could have the effect of “maybe turning back the clock a couple years” for Guerrero.

Relayed that quote, the affable Guerrero smiled and responded through a translator, “I feel good. I can’t say [like] 25, because, you know, I’m 34. But I feel a lot better. That’s where I’m at right now.”

See, I’m not so sure that Vlad blew his cover on that one. I think he thought his “Angels age” was 34 and that’s why he said it. If he were really telling the truth, he would have finally admitted that he was 40-years-old. Anyone who’s seen the guy lumber around in the outfield the past few seasons certainly has their suspicions. This also shines a whole new light on his 38 homer season with the Expos when he was supposedly 22. It makes a lot more sense now. And by the way, I’m so sick of these players lying about their age. They should be giving back some money to the clubs for taking it under false pretenses. The only thing worse is the Jim Bowden scandal.