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Brewers forced to hold press conference confirming Hank the Dog is alive

March 4, 2016 by Grey Papke • Comments
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The spring training news cycle can yield some really odd baseball-related stories, and this is very much one of them.

You may remember the story of Hank the Dog, the Milwaukee Brewers’ adopted “mascot.” He wandered into their spring training camp two years ago as a stray and the team took him in and adopted him. In fact, he’s stuck with the Brewers to this day.

Or has he? Last Monday, the folks at Brew Crew Ball uncovered the conspiracy to end all conspiracies. The team clearly had a new Hank, which meant something happened to the old Hank. Just look at the photographic evidence.

Let's just acknowledge its a different dog and move on pic.twitter.com/q93Mdtg7JN

— akschaaf (@akschaaf) December 11, 2015

Finally, a “Paul is Dead” scandal for the modern age. The internet, as they should have, demanded answers. The folks in the ivory towers of the Milwaukee Brewers headquarters were left with no choice but to address the unruly public.

A press conference has been scheduled for tomorrow related to "Hank 1." Stay tuned for more information.

— Milwaukee Brewers (@Brewers) March 3, 2016

Facing a press corps and a fanbase that demanded the truth, the Brewers affirmed the original Hank is still very much alive and well and serving as the team’s furry mascot. To prove it, they produced a fully-notarized letter from a veterinarian affirming that Hank has been examined and has the same microchip as he did two years prior when it was originally inserted.

Here it is, the un-smoking gun. Proof of Hank the Dog's true identity. #HankTheDog #Brewers #DogPressConference pic.twitter.com/QcgerhyrD6

— Jimmy Carlton (@jimmycarlton88) March 4, 2016

While this will fail to quiet the most ardent of Hank conspiracy theorists, this checks out pretty well. We’ll let it slide this time, Brewers.

In all seriousness, good for the team to have a bit of fun with this and use it to promote pet adoption.

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