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Sunday, May 27, 2018

Johnny Manziel lawsuit from ‘Samantha Schacher’ claims he put his penis in a hotdog bun

Johnny Manziel OVO DrakeA sexual harassment lawsuit that was supposedly filed against Johnny Manziel recently went viral on Friday morning, and most people are operating under the assumption that it is some sort of elaborate hoax. When you read the insane details, you’ll understand why.

According to the suit, a copy of which was posted on Scribd.com, a woman named Samantha Schacher is seeking a restraining order against Manziel because he has allegedly been harassing her since Valentine’s Day 2013. The plaintiff says Manziel has been calling her “non-stop” and sending her naked selfies. She is supposedly seeking $25 million in punitive damages.

You want the highlights of the lawsuit? We’ll show you the highlights of the lawsuit.

On Christmas Eve 2013, Manziel sent me a Instagram photo of himself naked to me Facebook with Manziel putting a hotdog bun between his penis, smiling, calling me “Ho, Ho, Ho,” then called up and told me he wanted a threesome with Dr. Drew.

During last year’s Nathan Hotdog Eating Contest, defendant Manziel sent me a naked photo of him with a ruler next to his erect penis that measured 4 1/2 inches, while holding up a sign “You know you want me, Samantha.”

Defendant keeps asking me to strip for him at his boy, LeBron James’ crip in Miami.

Manziel called me up drunk on Halloween of 2013 and confessed to me that he cheated on his college exams.

Manziel told me if I don’t want him because his penis is small, when he gets drafted by the NFL he will get a penis enlargement and he’ll be Long John Silvers.

Johnny Manziel refers to his penis as his Vienna Sausage and told me good things come from small packages.

Johnny Manziel said he Skyes with Judereon Clowney in South Carolina, and Clowney sent Manziel a Pic of is penis which was 9 inches, and Manziel showed it to me on Skype and asked me if I could handle that monster.

Manzeil sent me a homemade video of himself at Walt Disney World on “It’s a Small World” ride in the Magic Kingdom, and while the song is on, he puts the camera down and unbuttons his pants, pulls his penis out and jingles his penis to the music.

Annnnd you’ve officially lost us, “Samantha.” The spelling and grammatical errors get worse as the “lawsuit” goes on, but the entire thing is worth a read if you want to laugh your ass off. As if he even needed to, Manziel’s agent responded to the literary work of art.

As Gabriel Malor pointed out, there is a difference between frivolous and fake. While many people are claiming the lawsuit has to be fake, it would appear that it has actually been filed in a Florida court. That doesn’t mean it isn’t a prank and won’t be thrown out, but it is an actual lawsuit that has been filed.

What a way to start the Memorial Day Weekend.

UPDATE: The guy supposedly behind the hoax is a serial filer named Jonathan Lee Riches.

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