Jovan Belcher reportedly said ‘I can’t be here’ and crossed himself before committing suicide

Three days have passed since the tragic murder-suicide that involved former Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Jovan Belcher and his ex-girlfriend, and the details have gotten no less disturbing. It has become evident that Belcher had some serious psychological issues. He reportedly was recently separated from 22-year-old Kasandra Perkins, had an alcohol abuse problem and was out with a different woman the night before his suicide.

On Tuesday, the Kansas City Star painted a horrifying picture of the tragedy unfolding on Saturday morning. Belcher’s mother says he fatally shot Perkins before telling her he was sorry and kissing her on the forehead. She says he then apologized to her, kissed his 3-month and daughter and headed out to the Chiefs practice facility. Police believe Jovan’s violent act weighed heavily on his mind during the five-mile drive.

“He probably realized he had done something and he couldn’t go back,” Kansas City Police Sgt. Richard Sharp explained.

Upon arriving at the Chiefs facility, Belcher spoke with team GM Scott Pioli in the parking with a gun pointed at his own head and confessed that he had killed Perkins. Pioli tried to persuade him to put down the weapon, but Belcher told him it was “too late” and thanked him for all he had done, asking that he see to it that his daughter is cared for. Chiefs head coach Romeo Crennel and linebackers coach Gary Gibbs later arrived and tried to calm Belcher down.

“I was trying to get him to understand that life is not over,” Crennel told The Star. “He still has a chance and let’s get this worked out.’’

As Pioli and Crennel tried to reason with Belcher, the men heard police sirens closing in. Belcher then walked a few steps away with the gun still pointed at his head.

“I got to go,” Belcher reportedly said. “I can’t be here.”

Belcher knelt behind a vehicle and made the sign of the cross across his chest before firing a single bullet into his head.

While there has been some debate over whether or not it was appropriate for the Chiefs to set up Belcher’s locker and pay tribute to him last Sunday, the details of from the incident help us further understand how emotional and confusing a time the team must be going through. The scene painted from The Star reads more like a movie script than a real-life tragedy. Unfortunately, it was anything but scripted.