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Bartolo Colon carries bat down to first base (GIF)

Bartolo-Colon-carries-batWatching Bartolo Colon try to hit is easily one of our favorite things about the 2014 MLB season. You would think the New York Mets would tell their portly pitcher to simply stand at the plate and not swing, but we’re thankful they don’t. On Wednesday night, Colon brought us two more fantastic at-bats.

In the bottom of the second, a run actually scored while Colon was at the plate. Unfortunately he didn’t drive it in, but perhaps he distracted the catcher with his typically wild swing. We’ll give him credit there.

Colon did make contact later in the game. In fact, he grounded out twice. When he chopped a ball back to the pitcher’s mound in the seventh, he decided he wouldn’t even bother to put his bat down. Colon carried it all the way down the line.

As a side note, Colon proved he can still pitch effectively at age 41 by tossing 7 1/3 shutout innings and picking up his fourth victory of the year. You can find more of his adventures at the plate below.

Video: Bartolo Colon swings and his helmet comes flying off
Bartolo Colon attempting to bunt leads to fantastic meme

GIFS via Cut 4
H/T Jimmy Traina’s The Big Buzz

Bartolo Colon swings and his helmet comes flying off, again (Video)

I am choking. Seriously choking right now. Can’t breathe. Can’t even write this post.

All I have to say is god bless Sandy Alderson for signing Bartolo Colon and bringing him to the National League. Without that, none of this awesomeness would be possible.

And if those couple of terrible swings look familiar, it’s because this was Bartolo back on April 19 against the Braves:

Bless you, Bartolo. Don’t you ever change. And don’t you ever work with a hitting coach. Ever. We cannot afford for you to improve. We need terrible efforts at all times.

Bartolo Colon swing

Also see: Bartolo Colon attempting to bat and bunt yields fantastic meme

H/T Lana

Mets boycott New York Post over Bartolo Colon fat jokes

Bartolo Colon lardball

The New York Mets boycotted New York Post writer Mike Puma on Friday after he and his newspaper wrote some unflattering things about overweight pitcher Bartolo Colon.

Puma tweeted the following line about Colon on Thursday and then used it as the lede for his article later in the day following the Mets’ win over the Cardinals:

And here was the lede to his article:

If the umpires searched Bartolo Colon’s neck for a foreign substance on Thursday, chances are they only would have found peanut butter.

Puma also used the adjective “rotund” to describe Colon in the second paragraph of his story.

As if that weren’t enough, the headline The Post used for the story was “Lardball,” as seen in the image at the top of this post.

The team must have been upset over the paper/writer’s mocking of Colon, because the New York Daily News reports that the team refused to talk to the media after Friday’s 4-3 win over the Marlins.

Apparently angry about an article in the New York Post on Friday about Bartolo Colon under the headline “LARDBALL,” the players would not talk to the media until Post writer Mike Puma left the clubhouse. Puma was asked to leave and did so without incident. Within a minute, several Mets appeared in the clubhouse. The team would not comment on the incident.

The Post can be downright nasty towards the subjects it covers, so kudos to the Mets players for taking a stand against the negativity. Not only are Bartolo Colon fat jokes mean, they’re just so easy to make and require no creativity. Plus, the real folks have transitioned from Colon fat jokes to Colon batting jokes.

Forearm bash to Eye on Baseball
Photo credit: Twitter/Jimmy Traina

Bartolo Colon makes funny attempt to field ground ball (GIF)

The fact that Bartolo Colon still has a spot in an MLB rotation at age 41 is impressive. You wouldn’t expect an overweight, 16-year veteran to be effective, but Colon has actually pitched well over the last year or so. While he has shown good command of his pitches, Colon struggles with other parts of the game. Take fielding for example.

On Thursday, St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Lance Lynn hit a routine one-hopper back to his counterpart. It was a ball that most Little Leaguers could have fielded with ease and tossed to first for the out, but Colon froze and watched the ball hop right over his glove. Lynn was able to reach on an error. Given his fantastic form, it’s amazing Colon was unable to make the play.

Bartolo-Colon-error

Between Colon’s hilarious attempt at hitting earlier this year and that weird truffle shuffle he did in the dugout, the big guy is entertaining the crap out of us this season.

GIF via The Big Lead

Bartolo Colon jiggles his fat, does some sort of truffle shuffle

Bartolo Colon has been looking fatter than ever over the last year or so, but the 40-year-old veteran is somehow still pitching effectively. He’s off to a solid start with the New York Mets this year after posting an 18-6 record and 2.65 ERA with the Oakland A’s last season. On Tuesday night, Colon pitched seven scoreless innings in a win over the Atlanta Braves. He may have credited his rolls.

After exiting the game, Colon grabbed his gut in the dugout and did some sort of truffle shuffle. It looked like he was responding to something a teammate said to him. Whatever the case, we wouldn’t mind if that was the last time he did that this season.

Bartolo-Colon-jiggles-fat

Colon is currently listed at 260 pounds. If you didn’t already know that number was a bit low, you should now be convinced after seeing him juggle his fat. He’s a dozen cheeseburgers away from looking like this infamous NBA fan.

GIF via MLB.com Cut 4

Bartolo Colon attempting to bat and bunt yields fantastic meme

Bartolo Colon bat

We’re only a few days into the 2014 MLB season, but it’s already unanimous that the best thing about the New York Mets this year will be watching pitcher Bartolo Colon attempt to bat.

See, Colon has spent all but half a season of his 16-year MLB career in the American League. Dude probably hasn’t bothered with hitting since Little League. But now that he’s in the NL, he actually will have to step to the plate around three times a game every time he pitches.

In Wednesday’s 5-1 loss to the Washington Nationals, Colon went 0-for-2 with a strikeout at the plate. The at-bat where he didn’t strike out he hit a broken bat liner to second for a 4-3 putout.

But that doesn’t mean that Colon didn’t look absolutely terrible in his other attempt to hit.

The image at the top of the post shows how Bartolo laid off a ball that was clearly a foot off the plate during his first at-bat. Our friend Nick Pants decided to take that and Photoshop it into a few brilliant scenes:

Our friend KFC at Barstool NYC shared these great Colon photos as well:

And then there was this:

And this:

And then this:

Oh this is going to be such a good season!

If you enjoyed that, you’ll love this Jim Boeheim meme.

Photo via Twitter/Lana

Anthony Bosch reportedly was running BALCO of the East, supplying A-Rod, Nelson Cruz, Gio Gonzalez, Melky, Colon

anthony bosch mugMiami New Times dropped a bombshell report on Tuesday in which they exposed Dr. Anthony Bosch (pictured) of running an anti-aging clinic that also doubled as a performance-enhancing drugs supplier to many athletes.

Bosch’s company, Biogenesis, sold PEDs ranging from HGH to steroids. Biogenesis’ client list reportedly included sluggers like Alex Rodriguez, Melky Cabrera, and Nelson Cruz, among others. Biogenesis operated on a similar scale to BALCO, the company formerly run by Victor Conte, that supplied drugs to athletes like Barry Bonds, Jason Giambi, and Marion Jones.

Miami New Times reports that Bosch has a history of racking up bad debts and stiffing ex-wives over support payments. His company reportedly was not paying employees. They would often supply patients (non-athletes) with steroid cycles and diuretics.

Miami New Times went through several documents and Bosch’s personal records to determine which athletes were mentioned and listed as customers. They found several baseball players, a boxer, and tennis player listed, many of whom have already been caught using PEDs.

The list includes:

    - New York Yankees DH/3B Alex Rodriguez, who admitted to past steroid use after being busted by Sports Illustrated in 2009.
    - Toronto Blue Jays outfielder Melky Cabrera, who was busted for using PEDs during a breakout 2012 season. His name appeared in Bosch’s records 14 times.
    - Oakland A’s pitcher Bartolo Colon, who tested positive for elevated levels of testosterone in 2012.
    - San Diego Padres catcher Yasmani Grandal, who was suspended in November for elevated levels of testosterone.
    - Tennis player Wayne Odesnik, who was caught transporting HGH across international borders and was suspended a year by the ITF.
    - Texas Rangers outfielder Nelson Cruz, who has belted 108 home runs in the last four seasons. He was mentioned in a July, 2012 customer sheet under the code name “Mohamad.”
    - Washington Nationals pitcher Gio Gonzalez, who won 21 games last season.
    - Boxer Yuriorkis Gamboa, who is 22-0,

As you read, the first five names listed have either tested positive in the past year, or have been busted in the past for PED use/association.

Bosch was also the doctor who prescribed Manny Ramirez HCG when he tested positive for the female fertility drug while with the Dodgers in 2009.

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