Avast ye, matey’s! It has been said that Halley’s Comet might appear on Earth twice in a typical human lifetime. The same could be said of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Somewhere on the spectrum of winning the lottery a few times in a row and finding one of those stamps with the upside-down airplane on them lies a Pirates championship run. Since the last time the team was spotted playing in October, the team has found a way to lose 90-or-more games nine times while finishing 13 games or more behind first place all but one season since 1992. The team came into being in 1887, when it was designated as hailing from “Pittsburg.” At some point in history, the team added an “H,” left out a lot of “W’s” and has elicited a flurry of “Z’s.” The result has been a laughingstock where one is not warranted, kind of like a Bob Saget variety show.
It’s safe to say that William Kidd, Bartholomew Roberts, and Blackbeard never swung in on any chandeliers in the vicinity of Pittsburgh. At least those guys knew how to make someone walk the plank. The poor schmos in the Steel City have had a tough enough time finding a way to walk the 90 feet down to first base. It probably explains why there is a long list of managers that have been sent to Davey Jones’ locker, from Gene Lamont to Pete Mackanin, and John Russell. Perhaps Garrett Jones (no relation to Davey) and Jose Tabata could have learned a thing or two from Long John Silver about how to properly execute a hit-and-run. Coming off their 18th consecutive losing season, it is safe to say that things for Pittsburgh’s resident baseball team have been AAARRRRRR-duous.Google+