The NBA offseason is the perfect time for our basketball-deprived minds to engage in preposterous historical debates on the Internet and to argue about legacy and the value of rings until the cows come home. Now, two NBA legends want in on the fun.
The first shot was fired by none other than the illustrious basketball luminary himself, Dr. Shaquille O’Neal. The Big Aristotle posted the following picture of the all-time starting fives of both the Lakers and the Bulls to his Instagram on Sunday. He posed the question to his followers of which squad would emerge victorious in a hypothetical showdown and, not too subtly, offered his own prediction as to how it would shake out.
Shaq’s caption read:
We would beat em by fifty “what you think”. Let me know and don’t hold back.
A FIFTY-point Laker victory? Only 18 points shy of the largest margin of victory in NBA history?! Against a team with Michael Jordan, the consensus greatest player of all-time?! The Shaqtus sure has a lot of faith in his purple and gold.
On Monday, the saga continued with Scottie Pippen, one of the players involved in the theoretical beatdown, firing back on his own Instagram to let Shaq know how misinformed he really was.
Pippen posted the caption:
Sorry @shaq but I don’t get caught up in hypotheticals. All I know is we won 6 titles, twice the amount you claimed while in LA…
Ah, the time-tested “Hypotheticals lie, rings don’t” argument from the six-time NBA champion. Well played, Mr. Pippen.
Not to be outdone, however, Shaq replied back not long after with another Instagram zinger, this time in the form of a hilarious Photoshop of Pippen’s photo.
This time, the Diesel’s caption read:
Sorry @scottiepippen I don’t believe in hypotheticals either, but I seen most of those final you did ok , but this guy did most the work .
#youwereok steve kerr and Ron harper deserve more credit than you , remember I WAS BATMAN YOU WAS ROBIN , I was PUFFY YOU WAS MASE…
BOOM ROASTED! The “second banana” retort executed to complete and utter perfection! Shaq Fu with no regard for human life! Barbecue chicken alert!
Not yet satisfied with his public marination of the Bulls legend, Shaq then posted another classic taunt for his Instagram followers to revel in.
OOH KILL EM, SHAQ!
As for the debate that actually started this whole brouhaha, it would probably be much closer than Shaq boldly proclaimed.
With his 6’9″ frame, Magic would give Derrick Rose all sorts of trouble defensively. But Rose’s explosiveness would pose problems for the below-average defender Magic was, making this matchup a draw.
Give Jordan the slight edge over Kobe, though not an overwhelming one as Bryant has been known to steal a move or two from His Airness on occassion.
At the small forward position, I’d take the all-around offensive threat/boards crasher Baylor over the elite defense/intangibles provided by Pippen.
Meanwhile, Shaq was probably the most dominant center of all-time and would easily roast any Bull thrown his way, even if he would be playing out of position and even if Rodman was one of the better anti-Shaqs the league ever had.
As for the center battle, the 6’10” Horace Grant wouldn’t stand a chance against Jabbar’s skyhook, the most unstoppable shot ever produced on a basketball court.
Not to mention that Shaq didn’t even allude to the Jerry West-James Worthy-Wilt Chamberlain second unit that the Lakers would be able to unleash upon the likes of Ron Harper, Toni Kukoc, and Artis Gilmore.
So this humble writer would predict a competitive low double-digit victory for the all-time Lakers. Meanwhile, we can all sit back and eat our popcorn as two NBA greats engage in a riotously trivial battle on social media.
