When it comes to football player arrests, this one might actually take the cake. Not that I even know what taking the cake means, but I guess people like that expression. Anywhoo, 23-year-old hardly used Dolphins defensive lineman Frederick Evans pulled off one of the greatest arrest stories of the NFL season. Ready for this?
The defensive tackle, who smelled of alcohol, climbed into Dieudonne Telfort’s cab on Washington Avenue and stretched out on the back seat.
”I asked him where he was going. He didn’t want to tell me,” Telfort, 56, said. “I told him, if you don’t tell me where you want to go, you have to get out of my cab.”
After Evans threw up, he took a swing at Telfort but missed.
Thirty minutes later, at 6:21 a.m., the police arrived at the scene, outside a club on the 1400 block of Washington Avenue. Evans was still lying down on the backseat.
Officers ordered Evans to get out of the cab, but he refused, and officers proceeded to place him under arrest. Evans allegedly began cursing at them as they were handcuffing him, then took a swing at one of the officers.
One officer was bitten on his left wrist and suffered several bruises; another had scrapes and bruises on her left knee, police said.
Hold your pizza for a second, it gets better. Reports say Evans was tasered again after grabbing onto a bicycle that was locked to a signpost. No joke. Probably best he got tasered for that rather than incurring a DWI for taking the cruiser for a joy ride. I mean really, does it get better than that? I’ve had drunk friends act like imbeciles before, probably doing similar shenanigans. And it’s funny when they do it. So that makes this story no different. Think about it — passing out in the back seat of a taxi cab and yacking in it? That is fantastic.
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This entry was posted on Saturday, June 23rd, 2007 and is filed under Darwin Nominees, Football. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.


The cops should’ve just saved themselves the trouble and had the cabbie drive Evans to the local station. Might have saved them the time and trouble of arguing and fighting with him.
He should be fined for the replacement of the cab. W e all know puke does not come out! He should also have to take a cab to and from practices, home, and away games for the next pre/regular/post season at his cost! He should be assigned a liason by the NFL to make sure the punishment is followed, also at his cost.