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Saturday, July 21, 2018

Recommended Playoff Beard Etiquette

The NHL playoffs begin Wednesday and the NBA playoffs start a few days after that. What does that mean? It’s time to start thinking about playoff beards! You know those hairy, unshaven neck beards that develop this time of year in hopes that your team will make it all the way? So gentlemen (and hormonally unbalanced females) let’s talk about what to do with your face fuzz.

1. Get started now. The playoffs will be here before you know it and if your team has made it, it’s time to start that beard. This is your chance as a fan to share something in common with your favorite players; you will both be sporting a grizzly mess on your face as a sign of your dedication to winning.

2. Throw away your razors. Don’t let that silver temptress get to you. You need to stick to your guns on this one, mister. As itchy and unattractive as your face and neck get, don’t you dare shave that thing. As much as your wife/girlfriend, co-workers and others close to you complain about how you are beginning to resemble a mountain man, you must sport that thing with pride.

3. Buy a beard guard. Part of the joy of sporting the playoff beard is the way that it gets to run wild on your face. Don’t you dare wash your manly mane. In doing so, you may just wash away the magic that has nestled itself inside of your facial hair. So go out and invest in a beard guard because I’m not telling you not to shower, but how badly would you feel if you ruined your team’ss chances of advancing in the postseason because your chin felt a little gross?

So that’s it fellas.  Fans and players unite in growing those lovely, grizzly, itchy playoff beards that we all love so much. And feel free to send me a picture of your progress. Larry has even tracked his playoff beard progress in the past, why not join the tradition?

The great unwashed [Canada.com]

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