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Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Celebrating a Year of D-Baggery for Tiger Woods and LeBron James

Well I’ll be damned. It just came to my attention that Tiger Woods and LeBron James share the same birthday. Isn’t that convenient? Two men who have successfully emerged as arguably the two biggest d-bags in the entire sporting world celebrating on the same day. Like any other quality source of news, we here at LBS have given our share of coverage to each celebrity athlete and done plenty of dumping on both of them. It’s only fitting that we recap and take this time to reflect on the year that was. Happy 35th, Tiger, and happy 26th, LeBron.

6. Rory McIlroy, 21-year-old professional golf phenom, kicks Tiger while he’s down and gives him a little PGA-style trash talk, telling reporters that with the way Tiger has been shooting he’d love it if he were given the chance to prey on him in the Ryder Cup.  McIlroy got his wish and the European team went on to defeat the Americans in the tourney.

5. Supposedy, there was a series of jokes that was to be delivered by Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin at the 2010 Oscars, but Academy Awards bosses shot them down because they were “too rude.”  Man, would we have all loved to hear what they came up with.

4. A British documentary alleged that Tiger fathered a love child with Theresa Rogers and paid her about $2.44 million to keep quiet about it.  The documentary claimed it had enough evidence that would lead to Tiger eventually admitting it, but that has yet to happen.

3. The American team steps off their plane at the Ryder Cup, accompanied by all of their hot wives and girlfriends.  Missing from the photo: Elin Nordegren, Holly Sampson, Theresa Rogers, Joslyn James, or any of Tiger’s countless significant others.  What a shame.

2. The gambling website Bodog.com offers Tiger a $100 million endorsement to embrace his new image and essentially admit that he’s a scumbag, adulterer, and party animal.  He of course declined, but it was fun to imagine for a few minutes.

1. It may not be earth-shattering news, but it was my personal favorite Tiger Woods moment of 2010.  Some genius made up Dumb and Dumber t-shirts featuring Ben Roethlisberger and Tiger.  Check the shirt out here if you need a good laugh.

6. LeBron decides he needs to change his autograph now that he has taken his talents to South Beach.  Don’t worry, I’m sure he was doing it because he needed a change, not to make more money.

5. King James hires a rabbi as a financial consultant.  I wonder how that worked out.

4. For the new Miami Heat’s first trip to the Boston Garden, Celtics fans break out Delonte West masks as a creative means of taunting LeBron.  If you can’t figure out why, you have a lot of catching up to do.

3. Cleveland Cavs fans decide they owe it to LeBron to give him a little more than just a shower of boos for his return to Cleveland, so they stick LeBron James bobbleheads inside the urinals to give them something to aim at.

2. Cavs owner Dan Gilbert acts like a 16-year-old girl who’s boyfriend just dumped her on prom night.  His letter to Cavs fans about how much of a traitor LeBron is becomes an instant classic.

1. In the ultimate showing of what a spoiled d-bag he really is, LeBron blatantly bumps Heat coach Erik Spoelstra after a Miami loss to the Mavericks.  The Heat went on a winning streak after the incident, so I’m sure LeBron expects a thank you.

So there you have it — six phenomenal moments from a year of greatness in the lives of LeBron James and Tiger Woods.  We hope you enjoyed the ride, and I’m sure they’ll manage to out-do themselves in 2011.  Oh, and happy birthday, fellas.

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