Freddie Roach is one of the most respected trainers in boxing history, and he has found seemingly endless success working with fighters like Manny Pacquiao, Miguel Cotto and Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. Unfortunately, that success cannot keep Roach from having suicidal thoughts.
Roach, 55, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease 23 years ago. The condition is a result of his boxing career, during which he had 53 fights and won 40 of them. On Sunday, Roach told Gareth A. Davies of The Telegraph that he struggles with depression.
“I don’t get sick too often. When I’m sick, I just go to the gym and it goes away,” he explained. “With Parkinson’s, sometimes you wake up and think: ‘Why the f— did they pick me?’ But, you know, that’s part of life. Some of the medications do cause depression and so forth and some mornings I’ll think about bad things. But then I’ll go to the gym and go to work and everything bad goes away.
“I have a new neurologist and I told him that sometimes I think about killing myself. He asked me why and I said: ‘It’s just f—ing difficult sometimes dealing with this sh–’. He said maybe I should see a psychologist. I said: ‘Doc, I’m just kidding. I might think about it but I would never hurt myself. I am not that brave.’”
Roach went on to say that his medication helps “in a bad way,” and that there have been times when he is staying in a hotel and thinks about jumping out the window.
“I had a lot of questions after Robin Williams, the actor who had Parkinsons and had a lot of other problems, killed himself,” he said. “I’m on the same medications that he was on. … You go to training camp and you’re in this little hotel room for several weeks – you think about jumping out the window some days. But that would hurt too much if I got the landing wrong. I’m just killing time. I’m not going to hurt myself.”
Currently, Roach is helping Pacquiao prepare for the biggest bout of his life. In about three weeks, Pacquiao will face undefeated Floyd Mayweather Jr. in a fight that people have been begging to see for years. If Pacquiao can pull of the upset, Roach’s legacy will look that much better. Here’s hoping he finds peace in coping with his disease.
