Joseph Randle said he didn’t want to take time to pay for cologne, underwear

On Monday evening, Dallas Cowboys running back Joseph Randle brought us what will go down as one of the most embarrassing arrests of the 2014 NFL season when he was booked for shoplifting a bottle of cologne and some underwear from a department store. Randle’s reason for committing the crime makes it even more laughable.

According to a police report obtained by CBS Dallas Forth Worth, an in-store loss prevention employee watched Randle place a two-pack of Polo underwear and a tester bottle of Gucci cologne in a store bag. The total value of the items was $123.50.

When he left the store without paying and security stopped him, Randle basically pulled the “I was in a rush” excuse.

“When I asked Randle what he stole, he replied that he took some underwear and a tester bottle of cologne,” the arresting officer wrote in his report. “He stated that he did not pay for the merchandise because he did not want to take the time to do it.”

Nothing worse than long lines and slow cashiers in a department store, right? Randle also told an officer that he “should have just kept walking to his car if he knew he would be arrested.” He admitted that he saw the “old guy” (store security) and thought to himself, “Alright, y’all got me.”

Randle probably won’t face any discipline from the league for the incident, but you would think having to face his teammates will be punishment in itself. We can only hope the verbal punishment in the locker room fits the crime.