That’s exactly what Chris Whetsline is doing. Don’t know the name? That’s OK. He’s a massage therapist who wound up getting included in the whole Justin Gatlin scandal. And what’s this dude doing? Oh nothing, just suing Nike for $3.8 million. You know, chump change.

The suit claims Llewellyn Starks, a former long jumper who is now a sports marketing representative for Nike, assaulted Whetstine on June 22, 2006, after drinking heavily on Nike’s tab.
…
The suit claims Whetstine suffered injuries to his face, head and both hands, and underwent multiple surgeries that left him unable to work as a massage therapist. The suit seeks $2.2 million for noneconomic damages related to the injuries, $1.6 million for loss of earning capacity and $65,000 for medical expenses.

Damn, to think you could make $1.6 million as a massage therapist? I’m in the wrong business. I most definitely could be putting these hands to better use. My favorite part of the story is the reminder that the sleezebag Trevor Graham (for anyone who’s read Game of Shadows), blames this guy Whetstine for rubbing down Gatlin with some illegal steroid creams. You want to know the best way to clear your name? Sue a big time company for way more money than you deserve. Now that’s the American spirit!

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