Is there anything worse than checking out someone’s online dating profile pictures, liking what you see, and getting together with them only to find out they look nothing like their photos? Or how about when you realize that you missed some key detail in a person’s photos that could have saved you the time and effort of actually going on a date? That’s the worst. It’s a waste of your time, it’s a waste of my time and, frankly, it sucks.
Yes, we’ve been there before and done enough online dating where we feel comfortable sharing our tips with you. Heck, we consider it our obligation and duty to pass along this valuable knowledge.
With that in mind, I’ll give you some of the tips and tricks for online dating pictures I’ve learned during my time as a single, successful guy (Brad from Fast Times voice). This is expert-level stuff, too, so heed my advice and save yourself some time and effort.
Lack of full-body shots/only chest-up shots
Have you ever flipped through someones pics, thought they looked really good, met up with them, and then couldn’t believe how their body looked? How did that happen? How did I end up on a date with someone whose butt was the size of a pregnant rhinoceros?
Ahhh … you missed that they only posted pictures from the chest-up!
You can look for signs of body thickness based on necks, arms and chest, but that doesn’t always tell the full story about someone’s looks.
If someone shares strictly chest-up photos on their profile, you can safely figure they are packing a lot of heat down below. Now this isn’t some post intended to bash fat people; this is about being honest with your suitors and not hiding who you are. I and many others happen to like girls with a little extra (and vice versa for girls with guys). Just be honest about what you look like rather than try to pull a fast one.
Think you’re cool that you tricked someone into going on a date with you? Yeah, it’s not going to be so much fun when you’re wondering why they never texted you again.
Be honest. Don’t try to deceive.
Overhead camera angle selfies
Beware of the overhead camera angle selfies. One of the easiest ways a girl can make herself more attractive in photos is by using the overhead camera angle selfie. You’ll know this picture because it looks like the girl is extending her arms a few feet above her head for the selfie. This angle has the funny ability to make a girl’s chest look larger than it is. It also has the dual ability to hide undesirable facial features. Got a large nose? Prominent chin that juts out? Offset eyebrows? It’s unbelievable how someone can hide all these things by using a cleverly angled picture.
Sunglasses photos
Did you ever realize how much of someone’s face sunglasses can cover? They seriously block out like half a person’s face.
True story: I was out at the Palazzo pool for a bachelor party last year and our group was talking with a group of girls there for a bachelorette party. Most of the girls looked pretty cute. It was promising. Later that night, that same group of girls happened to be at the same club as us. Only I had no freaking clue. I remembered their names, but none of the faces matched. Who are you and what did you do with that cute girl from the pool? Then I realized they had sunglasses on at the pool and that they were totally exposed without them.
If you thought someone looked great because of a pic where they were in sunglasses and then they looked completely different in person, this is why. Beware of sunglasses pics.
Pro tip: My buddy had a great move to combat this problem. Ask the person you’re interested in to switch sunglasses. It seems like a harmless, fun gesture, and they have no idea you’re doing this to see what they look like without the shades. Unfortunately this move only applies in real life.
Only photos with friends
Does anything say “I’m trying to ride the coattails of my hot friend” more than using nothing but pictures of yourself with attractive friends? Remember, this is about you — not your friends. We want to see how you look, not wonder whether you can hook us up with that hottie on your left.
Not only are group shots confusing — how the heck are we supposed to know who you are if there’s nothing but group photos? — but it also shows a clear lack of self-confidence. If you feel like you have to use your friends in all your photos, then what does that say about the way you feel about yourself?
Note: There’s absolutely nothing wrong with including a group shot or two in your profile (I’d say 1 of 5 on average can be group shots). That can show that you have friends and like to go out and do things with friends. Just don’t be excessive about it, and certainly don’t use a group photo as your first pic.
No clear shot of their face
If you’ve gone through a handful of pictures on someone’s online or Tinder profile and are intrigued but realize there is not clear shot of the person’s face, just assume that they are unattractive and hiding something.
I got together with a girl who had some creative pictures. She was mostly in poses that made her look mysterious and kinda hot (so I thought). I figured I’d take a chance and see what she looked like in person. Mistake.
If there is no clear shot of someone’s face, they’re hiding something.
Now that we’ve gone over what to avoid, let’s get into what to do on your online dating profile.
Show exactly who you are!
There is no greater advice I can give than this: show exactly who you are and how you look. Post a full-body shot and clear picture of your face so there is no confusion. That feature about yourself that you want to hide might actually be a turn-on for someone else! People will like you. Don’t be afraid.
Use current photos
If you’ve gained 30 pounds since you took your profile photos and look significantly different, take new ones and post those. Did you dye your hair blonde even though all your pics are of you as a brunette? Show the new look. If you’re a guy and your hair has thinned and receded, post those. This is all about being honest rather than trying to hide things. You never know, while you’re afraid girls will think you’re balding, maybe you’ll attract someone who’s looking for an older, more mature-looking guy.
One thing that I’ve learned is that there are three ways you can perceive someone when you meet up with them in person : they look better, worse, or the same as their online pictures.
When they look the same, that’s always a great sign — then you’re getting the person you wanted to go out with. If they look better, that’s a nice bonus considering you were already interested in them. When they look worse (or a lot worse), the only real explanation I’ve found is because they were using old pictures from back when they looked much better. You’re only cheating yourself when you do that.
Be exactly who you are!
We already emphasized showing exactly who you are looks-wise. Also make sure to be exactly who you are!
That means use photos that show your personality and interests. Are you the kind of person who likes to work at a coffee house? Show that. Do you go on hikes and enjoy the outdoors in your spare time? Show that. Are you a family person? Show that. Are you a duck face person? Show that. Are you a shirtless selfie type? Show that. Are you playful? Do you like to dress slutty on Halloween? Show all these things.
By showing who you are, you will help attract the right and wrong people. It improves the filtering process.
Believe me, if you’re the kind of girl who likes doing a duck face, putting that in your profile saves me the time of actually sending you a message.
Obviously I couldn’t cover everything possible when it comes to online dating pictures, but this should be a pretty helpful guide for what to and what not to do with your photos.
And remember: when I go on these dates, I do it for you, not for me.
