One of the hottest stories Wednesday was the report from In Touch Weekly that Kim Kardashian was caught cheating on fiance Kris Humphries. This is the exact sort of “bombshell” intended to make teenyboppers and housemoms gasp incredulously while running to the supermarket to pick up their copy of the fake news. In reality, the extent of Kim’s sins depends on your definition of cheating, because the report says she had phone sex and flirted with New England Patriots safety Bret Lockett over text message. Not only is it not the sort of cheating they would like you to believe, it also seems to be all-too-perfectly timed.
The newest season of Keeping up with the Kardashians premieres on Sunday. The engagement to Kris Humphries is a nice new story line for the show, but is it juicy? It’s a change, but I’m not so sure it’s titillating. Not only that, it’s also two weeks old, which might as well be 10 years ago in our ever-changing digital age. The Kardashians needed something big — something huge — an “oh my god” controversy to make everyone tune in Sunday to see what’s going on with the family. They needed just the type of story In Touch published.
When you think about it, is texting someone else that bad? I would consider it wrong, but if it’s old news, it probably already was addressed by the couple. Do you really think Wednesday was the first time Humphries heard about Bret Lockett? Of course not — we’re not that stupid.
The magazines and the entertainers work hand-in-hand; they need each other in order to survive. The celebrities crave the attention and relevance that comes with being on the cover of a magazine. The magazines and websites are dying for exclusive stories that will generate traffic and sales. As long as they get an inside scoop (like Kimmie cheating), what do they care if they’re being used to generate buzz for the show?
You really think they weren’t in on this story together?
Kim K has probably already dealt with this story with Humphries. Denying the story publicly is part of the game her side needs to play in order to drum up the controversy. As for Bret Lockett? How does he fit in? Lockett is a fringe NFL player who hardly plays, and he doesn’t seem too bright. He’s not going to last long in the league. He’s trying to create a career as a model and rapper, but who cares about a nondescript former player nobody’s heard of? No one of course. But if he has ties to Kim Kardashian — and can prove it — then all of a sudden he’s no longer unknown fringe football player Bret Lockett, he’s the dude who got in a scandal with Kim Kardashian. You can’t buy this type of publicity if you’re Lockett, so of course it’s in his interest to confirm the whole thing.
Now if you don’t believe all this, I’ll leave you with two more stories.
First off, who is Kim Kardashian? She’s nothing other than the daughter of O.J.’s former attorney, Robert Kardashian. She only got her name when a sex tape between her and ex-boyfriend Ray-J went public. It worked wonders for her and turned her into a hot name in the entertainment business. But what’s the real story behind the sex tape? A third party supposedly sold it to Vivid Entertainment for $1 million, Vivid planned to market it, Kimmie sued, but then they settled for a few million dollars. Best of all? The video was released on a Vivid-run website called KimKSuperstar. It’s amazing that someone who was so outraged over the release of a private video would cut a financial deal for millions of dollars and allow it to run. That sound curious to you?
Second item involves Kim’s engagement ring that got all the attention two weeks ago. Kim’s ring was 20.5 karats and is estimated to be worth more than $2 million. Kris Humphries, despite playing in the NBA, is far from a star. He earns $3.2 million per year, and has earned just under $17 million in his career, which is about half as much after taxes. You really think he could afford a $2 million ring? I have my doubts, and that’s why another story makes so much sense. A separate report shows the “engagement ring” Kim has been wearing is eerily similar to one she wore in 2009 when she was claiming she and Reggie Bush were engaged. If you’re also wondering how Kris could afford to buy her that ring, the answer is he probably couldn’t and she’s really wearing one a jeweler gave her in exchange for promotional work (which is how most things work with the Kardashians, most things about them is a paid endorsement).
Everything about Kim Kardashian, from her chest down to her thighs, and apparently her finger, is fake. Why would you expect this story not to be? The story may be true, but the outrage is manufactured and its timing is intended to heighten interest in the TV show.
