That’s Neuheisel — N-E-U-H-E-I-S-E-L. Better get it straight since it’s the name I’ll be pounding into the keyboard incessantly over the next several years. And I have to say, I am quite satisfied with the hire. I think Neuheisel can do what I want with UCLA football: make them achieve at reasonable levels. With Rick at coach, they’ll probably average eight wins a year, pulling 10 in a good year, and maybe only six in a down year. If he recruits a few superstars, heck we could even sneak into a BCS game or two. What I’m wondering is why it took UCLA three weeks to hire a man they could’ve had a long time ago. Is Neuheisel not ashamed that the Bruins took this long?

See, UCLA was looking to take the hottest girl in school to the prom. They knew they could get laid if they asked Rick, but what’s the fun in that? Once the hot chicks were already taken or showed no signs of interest, they settled for the sure thing. And you know what? Sometimes that’s the best way to go. You have a guy who wants the job and will work hard at the job. A guy who’s had a questionable past but has likely learned and will try to avoid the same pitfalls that brought him down elsewhere. I expect Neuheisel to be around the Bruins program for the next 10 years or so and I’m satisfied with the hire. Now retaining DeWayne Walker as defensive coordinator would be a great bonus.

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Just as I was making fun of the Niners for starting Chris Weinke at quarterback and brought up a Vinny reference, the news comes across the wire that My Grandpa will be retiring at season’s end. In other words, he’s done after Sunday. I have to say, it’s quite a sad day for me. What other QB do you know who will stick around til they’re 44, providing me with endless content? Perhaps Brett Favre? I don’t know. Besides, will it even be fun to clown on Favre eight years from now?

Goodness, consider the legacy of one Vinny Testaverde. The man won a Heisman before half of you were born, and he’s still playing pro football as of this weekend. And how about this one? He’s the only QB in history to throw at least a TD pass in 21 straight seasons. I’m going to venture out on a limb and say that record won’t be broken any time soon. Vinny, for all the laughing and humor he provides, has to be respected for his ability to compete at an elite level at such a high age. Hopefully he’ll still have a few brain cells left to enjoy retirement.

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I had my share of fun with the Panthers when they brought Vinny Testaverde in to play QB. Now, the Niners have completed the circle of embarrassment by naming Chris Weinke their starter this week. (Note: if I were around, I most certainly would have hammered the Rams for going with Brock Berlin). This is quite a commentary on the state of quarterbacks in the NFL. In fact, it only speaks to the legacy of Brett Favre, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady and the few other quarterbacks who never miss a game. Not only is there a shortage on good quarterbacks, but the violent nature of the game isn’t helping matters either.

So can we just chalk up an extra mark in the loss column for the Niners already or what? Weinke-dinky-doo is what, like 2-17 in his career as a starting quarterback? If I’m not mistaken, the dude was winless in his career at home for Carolina. Good thing for him the Niners are on the road at Cleveland this week. Man, any of you gamblers out there, load up the moneyline on the Browns. Come on, Chris Weinke starting at QB? Gimme a break. Next thing we know Craig Krenzel’s gonna be making an appearance in the league. Yikes.

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This morning on the radio, my man Chris Moore made mention of Saban and Petrino when discussing Rich Rodriguez leaving West Virginia for Michigan. When the two coach against each other in the SEC for an Alabama/Arkansas game, for whom do you root? In other words, could Nick Saban’s Crimson Tide taking on Bobby Petrino’s Arkansas Razorbacks be the worst game ever? That got me thinking (which is a dangerous thing, I admit it), has there ever been a game with two bigger villains pitted against each other? Could you imagine the type of hype surrounding the game when these teams meet?

I’m trying to consider what I would do when those teams play. Perhaps a 0-0 tie would be in order. Apart from Bama and Arkansas fans, is there any sports person in the country that actually wants to see either of those coaches succeed after their shenanigans? I can’t remember a match up of two worse villains recently, so I’m going to go ahead and say this would be the worst game ever. Maybe you can come up with a worse scenario that I could be forgetting. Until then, I’m going Petrino vs. Saban. That’s hard to beat.

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From World Series hero and likable dude to all of a sudden a reported vehicular manslaughter suspect. WPLG in Miami says Leyritz was arrested and is being held for possible vehicular homicide and suspicion of DUI.

Police said Jim Leyritz was behind the wheel of a Ford SUV that collided with another vehicle at the intersection of Southwest Seventh Avenue and Second Street in the Himmarshee area of downtown Fort Lauderdale.

The impact caused the other car to roll over and the female driver of that vehicle was ejected and she died after being taken to Broward General Medical Center, police said.

Leyritz was arrested on suspicion of DUI because he refused a Breathalyzer test, police said.

Great, worrying about getting a DUI while the driver of the car you crashed into got killed. I post this not to make crude jokes, but as a PSA; don’t make the mistakes Leonard Little did and Leyritz reportedly did. Make sure you’re not driving when you’re drunk. Sad, sad story.

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LSU fan gets court trial postponed to watch the title game [100% Injury Rate]

Bloggers list of the top 40 sports figures of 2007 [Yahoo! Sports]

Kentucky student Rich Brooks gets the coach’s hate mail [SPORTSbyBROOKS]

Unfortunately we won’t be having another MSG trial [Deadspin]

Best Nintendo sports games of all-time [The Love of Sports]

Nicolette Sheridan nipple slip, admit you missed me [Egotastic!]

Illinois’ Chief Illiniwek will not die [We Are the Postmen]

The NFL is going green for the Super Bowl [The Big Picture]

Marc Bulger caught partying with the crew from The Hills [Awful Announcing]

Where the heck is Mel Kiper Jr. these days? [Scott Van Pelt Style]

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