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Darwin Nominees, Football, DJ Williams

D.J. Williams allegedly gave non-human urine samples to NFL drug testers

July 13, 2012 by Larry Brown • Comments
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Broncos linebacker D.J. Williams, who is facing a six-game suspension for violating the league’s drug policy, is being accused of attempting to manipulate three NFL drug tests last year by providing the collectors with non-human urine.

Williams has filed court documents because he is challenging his six-game suspension, and the documents only make him look worse.

According to The Denver Post, Williams provided a urine sample last August before the season began. Half the sample was tested for performance-enhancing substances while the other half was tested as part of the “substances of abuse” program. The performance-enhancing drug testers flagged the sample because:

“The specimen does not contain any endogenous steroids. The profile is not consistent with a normal, healthy male urine specimen.”

Since the substance of abuse test doesn’t check for endogenous steroids, which are present in human urine, his alleged “non-human urine” passed the test.

Williams provided a second urine test in September and toxicologists concluded that the sample did not contain human urine either.

Then in November, Williams dropped a bottle while giving his urine sample, according to a specimen collector. He then kicked the dropped bottle into the locker room because collectors aren’t allowed to go in there. He offered some ridiculous excuse for the dropped bottle and claimed he didn’t intentionally kick it into the locker room.

A federal judge isn’t buying Williams’ excuses and said last month that “subsequent incidents demonstrated [Williams’] ‘common scheme or plan’ to manipulate tests.”

I’d say so. Dude gets popped for failing a drug test, then submits another bogus urine sample, and then he’s caught dropping a bottle that likely contained his fake urine in a third test? What a moron.

Honestly, how dumb can you be? And what does this say about the NFL’s drug testing policy if Williams is challenging just a six-game suspension for trying to manipulate three drug tests?

Maybe if Williams just read Tony Mandarich’s guide to passing a urine test he wouldn’t have had this problem.

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