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Todd Jones Impersonates Magglio Ordonez in Rain Delay

Rain delays are always good for fun times in baseball. Over the weekend, it was Jonathan Papelbon and Manny Delcarmen doing a Milli Villi music video that brought entertainment to Fenway Park. Before that, it was the Texas Rangers using the tarp at Shea Stadium as a slip and slide. But of all the fun had during rain delays, this might be my favorite. Check out Todd Jones doing his Magglio Ordonez impersonation for the ’06 ALCS home run that sent the Tigers to the World Series. It’s awesome:

The quality on that vid is pretty poor, but there’s another video from a fan in the stands if you want to get a feeling for the atmosphere. There’s no question about what makes it funny: it’s all in the hair. Plus, Jones does a really good job mimicking Magglio’s mannerisms and stance at the plate. That was a quality effort by Mr. Jones, quality.

Joe Morgan Making Up Facts Once Again

Joe MorganI didn’t really mean to post this up, but when there’s a guy broadcasting on a large stage like Sunday Night Baseball on ESPN just filling the airwaves with nonsense, he needs to be called out for it. Such is the story with Joe Morgan, who continues to prove once again why he needs to be put on mute. If you remember last year, Morgan was caught telling a blatant lie on air. He placed himself in a historical context that never existed. Yes, he fabricated a story. Which brings us to Sunday night when Eric Patterson hit a home run at Wrigley Field that landed in the netting in left field, barely clearing the fence. Morgan essentially called it a cheap home run but went even further to say the basket of netting was placed there when Ernie Banks played and that it was called “Banks Boulevard” because he hit so many home runs there. Unfortunately I was duped like many other saps into believing the story, though I should have known better. Luckily Awful Announcing is here to correct things, giving the explanation from Bleed Cubbie Blue:

“There are many reasons virtually all of us criticize Joe Morgan’s “broadcasting” (the quotes are there for obvious reasons; he may be among the worst sports broadcasters in history). However, when he invents “facts” to back up his biases, I think he needs to be called on it and shown that doing this isn’t just wrong, it’s irresponsible. I speak here of his continued carping about the Wrigley Field outfield wall basket and his contention that Ernie Banks deposited “many” home runs into the basket.

Ernie Banks was nearing the end of his career when this basket was installed. I went through Ernie’s game logs. After April 26, 1970, he hit 8 home runs at Wrigley Field. Eight. The first one he hit after that was one I personally witnessed — his career #499, hit on May 9, 1970. That one didn’t go in the basket. Video exists of his 500th, hit three days after that, on May 12, 1970 — you’ve probably seen this video, and know that one didn’t go in the basket, either.

That leaves six others. It’s possible that all of them landed in the basket, but I doubt it. And even if that’s true, that’s six of 512 — a little over 1% of his career total, maybe 2% of all he hit at Wrigley. The basket was never, ever called “Banks Boulevard”, nor nicknamed after any other player.”

Cub Hub has more details correcting Morgan, and Awful Announcing even has the video if you want to hear the b.s. for yourself. I don’t know why this guy feels the need to make up stories. Why can’t he just shut up when he doesn’t know what the eff he’s talking about? Someone, someone, please get this guy off the air!

Imus Makes Adam Jones Into a Victim

The one thing I didn’t think was possible has happened. Somehow, in this entire messy situation, Adam Jones — the biggest perpetrator of crimes within the last two years — was made into a victim by Don Imus. That is just maddening. It just goes to show how clueless Imus really is, and how idiotic you can make yourself sound when you just shoot from the hip. I’m still trying to wrap my arms around this one. How could this whole thing result in Adam Jones saying he’s actually praying for someone else? Think about all the lives the man formally known as Pacman has ruined. And now you’re telling me that he feels bad for someone else and that he’s praying for them? Since when did Adam Jones become the moral police? And where does he get off being more credible and ethical than any other person on this planet?

And how about that lepton brain Imus who compounds an already insanely idiotic statement by sticking his foot even further down his mouth. How did he possibly make himself sound even dumber on Tuesday than he did on Monday? Just check out his statement when he said he was being sarcastic, “What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason,” Imus said Tuesday. “I mean, there’s no reason to arrest this kid six times. Maybe he did something once, but everyone does something once.” OK mister trying-to-cover-up-my-tracks-but-digging-a-deeper-hole. Do you have no idea about Adam Jones and all the trouble he caused in his past life as Pacman? Have you no clue about all the incidents at clubs the night before games? Or how about that shooting at the strip club that resulted in a man being paralyzed? Yeah, he sure was arrested for no reason, I have to agree, Imus. Apparently five seconds of research is too much to ask for from this clown. Someone, please, take the mic away from this guy. He knows not what he says.

Teacher Julie Pritchett Was Nailing the Whole Baseball Team!

I’ve posted about some pretty creepy incidents in the past, that’s for sure. Usually when these situations come up however, it’s a male coach responsible for the disgusting acts, not the other way around. That’s why when I read about this story, I knew it deserved our full attention. SportsbyBrooks passes along the news of Julie Pritchett who quit her job as a middle school teacher after it was brought to light she was banging several underage players on the baseball team.

Sheriff’s investigators identified eight male students who attend Clay-Chalkville High School with whom Pritchett is alleged to have had sexual relations, Christian said.

Pritchett was the sponsor for the high school’s Diamond Dolls, the hostesses for the baseball team. It was through that position, Christian said, that she came into contact with some of her former students who were involved in the high school sports program.

Christian said Pritchett started a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old former student. That relationship led to sex acts with his friends, Christian said.

The sex acts were initiated by Pritchett, who used several methods of approaching the boys, Christian said. Some of the acts took place on the school’s campus and others at the homes of the victims.

I chick who initiates? That’s what I like to hear. But when they look like that mug up there, I guess it makes sense. By the way, I know this is just quibbling over semantics here, but how is it possible for her to be charged for sodomy? Just wondering. And that is just gross.

Your Chance to Own Tiger’s Apple Core

Hey look, I was fascinated by Tiger Woods coming out of a porto potty. It just gets me every time. That dude really does those things just like us? Given the reaction people had over Tiger coming out of a restroom, it’s no surprise that the bidding on a half-eaten apple by Tiger Woods is getting some serious play on Ebay. These bids are getting seriously out of hand, ringing in at $36k at last check. And check out the description of the item:

I was at the US Open this Friday, following Tiger Woods down the 12 th Fairway, after his tee shot, he was eating an apple, 30 yards from his ball he discarded his apple core in the rough, I asked a photothe to kick it over my way, and he did, I never touched the core, Scooped it up in a empty beer cup, as not to disrupt the DNA, Ive got lots of witness’…all moneys go to my daughters college fund

I really would like to meet the people that spend this type of cash on items like that. Come on, who buys Jack Lambert’s used cigarette, or Luis Gonzalez’s chewed gum? I guess it’s the same people that spend 7 grand for their kid to meet David Beckham as a birthday present. Ridiculous.

Shaq Told to Bring Da Badge Back

Apparently there were plenty of people incensed by Shaq’s battle of the mics impression. The man so proud to play a cop in his spare time that he even volunteered to protect and serve the Tempe community, suffered ultimate embarrassment by having his badge stripped. Sheriff Joe Arpaio explained his position in revoking the badges telling The Monty Show on Sporting News Radio that he’s disappointed in Shaq.

“I’m disappointed in Shaq because I did terminate one of my deputies for using the same word. Now how can I not let him go when my own deputy sheriff that used that word, I fired him. He was a cadet just going through our academy, but he was still a deputy sheriff, and we let him go.”

if you are a role model and kids listening and that, it sends a wrong message especially for someone that has worked with law enforcement in Florida, here (Maricopa County), and wants to be a sheriff one day. I don’t think this is the type of background that is conducive to law enforcement.”

I just wish other sheriffs held their staff to such high standards, then maybe there wouldn’t be as many foul-mouthed cops dropping n-bombs around. And I still don’t understand the use of the word if it’s an offensive term. Just makes no sense to me. If you want the word retired, then you shouldn’t be using it. Chicks don’t walk around calling each other the c-word do they? Didn’t think so. It’s a shame this happens too, because Shaq just got done making waves for good news.

Chris Henry’s Former House Vandalized

Typically I would have given the LBS Chris Henry update when the dude lost his home to foreclosure, but I figured I’d give him a break. Besides, I was kind of burnt out on foreclosures after Holyfield and Canseco struggled with their pads, not to mention the fact that Henry’s already been so generous as to provide nearly half of the site’s content. But this was so unfortunate — what did Chris Henry ever do to have his old place vandalized?

Cleanup crews have a lot of work on their hands after vandals set their sights on Chris Henry’s former house.

The bank bought the Florence home after the former Bengal lost it in foreclosure.

Crews came to the house Monday to find trash and paint all over the home and the glass and staircase destroyed.

Ian’s Property Cleanup and Lawn Service said the vandals struck between Sunday evening and Monday morning.

Well, he’s no longer the Bengals’ problem, and the house is no longer his problem, so who did this really impact? Nobody I guess. But it just seems like a big kick in the balls if you ask me. I’m guessing the people who did it were trying to make things tougher for Henry. Little did they know their efforts went to waste. And on top of everything, he’s out of the NFL. That’s just not good.