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Wifey Doesn’t Want Damon in Detroit

One offseason question has persisted since the Hot Stove and lasted until Spring Training, amazingly enough: where will Johnny Damon sign? The Yankees made it clear that they weren’t willing to overspend to keep both aging sluggers Damon and Hideki Matsui, allowing each player to become a free agent. Godzilla signed with the Angels and Damon signed with the … well, let’s just say he hasn’t been Scott Boras’ top priority. You would think the market for Johnny Damon would be suitable considering he can swing a strong stick but his asking price for the Yankees was too high and his reported insistence on a two-year deal supposedly has limited his options. The one team we’ve heard willing to offer Damon a two-year deal is Detroit. Boras even said Damon was going to sign … last week. So what’s the hold up?

It has now become apparent that Boras is trying to use the Tigers to leverage the White Sox into offering Damon a better contract. A potential bidding war seems quite reasonable considering the teams are division rivals but it appears as if the White Sox aren’t playing along. So why hasn’t Damon simply settled things by signing with the Tigers? Ken Rosenthal says the Damons, specifically Johnny’s wife, Michelle, aren’t interested in living in Detroit for two years. Rosenthal’s initial report claimed that Detroit wasn’t cosmopolitan enough for Michelle (that part has since been deleted) which makes some sense considering Johnny has played in New York the past four years. In an attempt to try and get the White Sox engaged in a bidding war or to simply defend his manhood, Damon told Jon Heyman that it’s up to him and his wife will go where he goes. I still say Boras and Damon are stupid for not taking the Yankees offer even if it means a few less millions. Isn’t that the best situation for Johnny? Or is max dollars the only goal here? Better question: if Michelle were your wife, would you let her wear the pants?

Team USA Snowboarding Outfits of Denim Jeans, Flannel Shirts are Hideous

Maybe I just don’t have enough “brah” in my personality to fully appreciate the entire snowboarding aura because I really don’t get the Team USA outfits for the Winter Games. The dudes are wearing flannel hoodies for tops and denim-type jeans for pants. I swear I have a matching shirt in my drawer but I usually wear it when I go to bed; they’re using it to represent the country in the Olympics. At least nobody can accuse them of being sellouts. Anyway, here are the pics from the podium after Shaun White won gold and Scotty Lago captured bronze at the halfpipe:

The snowboarding outfits have actually been a topic of controversy during these Winter Games. Team USA member Nate Holland was upset that the Canadians are wearing pants that are too tight. Holland’s issue is that having tighter pants makes you more aerodynamic and gives snowboarders a competitive advantage. The problem is that wearing tight pants goes against the “integrity” of the sport. How stupid can you be? If he’s choosing fashion over competition then that’s his problem. Image isn’t everything but obviously it is to him. Regardless, the baggy outfits haven’t hurt Team USA in halfpipe competition and that’s all that matters.

Snowboarding Coach Bud Keene Cusses, Drops F-Bomb on TV

Wednesday was a good day for the U.S. at the Winter Games. Pre-Olympics darlings Shaun White, Lindsey Vonn, and Shani Davis all captured gold medals much to the delight of their sponsors, not to mention millions of fans. White actually had such a high score after his first run in the halfpipe that nobody beat him, so he had clinched the gold prior to his final run. He was debating whether to take a victory lap and that led to this cuss-word filled conversation with coach Bud Keene on live TV. If you listen closely, you’ll hear Keene drop and f-bomb and s-bomb in this video:

Chris Chase at Yahoo! Sports Fourth-Place Medal blog has the entire transcription of their dialog. As you saw in that video, White wound up making a pressure-less ride, nailing the double mctwist. White reportedly makes around $8 million in sponsorship deals per year. With his top move being the double mctwist you have to wonder how McDonald’s hasn’t gotten into the action yet. Can’t you just picture every 12-year-old in America wanting to go to Mickey D’s to order the Shaun White Double McTwist? Come on people, I can’t do all the work for you!

NBC Sports Olympic Boss Button Fail

I can’t quite figure out if it’s a blessing to be at home rather than the office while the Winter Games are taking place. On the one hand I’d love to be watching some of these competitions live but on the other you have NBC tape-delaying most of its coverage until the evening. It pretty much stinks considering we’re in 2010 and anyone with a computer knows the results are a few clicks away. Making matters even more confusing is that NBC allows you to watch events live on their website. I guess they figure tech people will be able to watch at their pace while old school people will be at their tape delay mercy. Here’s another thing I can’t figure out. As Deadspin pointed out, NBC’s “Boss Button” is a complete failure. The whole idea is people can click on a “boss button” to change the screen and make it look like they’re working rather than watching Olympics coverage online. The problems with NBC’s Boss Button are pretty clear:

As you can tell, there’s nothing on the damn spreadsheet so it makes the worker look completely unproductive. Also, and this is more specific, the boss button takes you to a Windows screen which doesn’t exactly make much sense if you’re on a Mac. CBS had problems with their Boss Button last year during March Madness considering the spreadsheet they linked you to was filled with nothing but basketball information. Maybe NBC can readdress these issues since the current system is pretty stupid. Maybe they can also start airing some of their coverage live on real TV. That would be nice.

Marcus Camby Didn’t Want to Leave the Clippers. True Story.

Marcus Camby made history on Tuesday by becoming the first person to ever be disappointed about being traded away from the Clippers. He had one of those “go to the other locker room” situations in that the Clippers traded him to the Blazers while the team was preparing for their next game in Portland. The trade makes plenty of sense considering the Blazers had big men Greg Oden and Joel Pryzbilla knocked out with injuries while Camby’s playing at a high level for the Clippers. Even though the Clippers are headed for the lottery and Portland the playoffs, Camby was disappointed about being dealt:

“He likes the Clippers, he likes the organization, he likes L.A.,” the source said. “His wife is happy in L.A. And he’s not one for change. He’s definitely not happy about this.

“It feels good to be a wanted man, but I like it here,” Camby said.

I understand the logic behind wanting to keep status quo but really, the Clippers? Camby liked playing for the Clippers? Maybe if it were a legit contender like the Magic or Cavs Camby would be excited about the potential to win a ring considering he’s been to the playoffs eight times already. Still, I always considered playing for the Clippers to be a death sentence for an NBA player and now we’re hearing someone didn’t want to leave. Wow.

Tiger Woods Supposedly Impregnated Porn Star Joslyn James Twice

The latest rumor of the Tiger Woods scandal comes courtesy of the New York Post via The Big Lead. The story comes from Inside Edition and it says Tiger Woods impregnated porn star Joslyn James — his favorite mistress — on two separate occasions. James says she suffered a miscarriage during the first pregnancy and then aborted the second child (much to the horror of the Tebows). Making matters even more distressing is that the pregnancies supposedly were at the same time Tiger’s wife was pregnant.

Adding credence to this story are previous reports that said Tiger never used protection during his sexual affairs. The obvious question is how Tiger avoided impregnating his ladies if he didn’t inquire if they were using birth control. Still, despite adding the two items together I have a tough time believing this. Let’s examine the story: a woman who has sex for a living claims she got pregnant. Wouldn’t you figure a porn star of all people uses birth control? Even if she weren’t, how are we supposed to believe the unborn kids were Tiger’s? I’d have serious doubts that Tiger’s the only man with whom she had sex. The real disgusting part is that Tiger didn’t use protection and then went back to his wife afterward. I guess he never learned about STDs at Stanford.

PICS: TIGER’S ALLEGED MISTRESSES

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Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, Cori Rist, Holly Sampson

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Jamie Jungers, Mindy Lawton, Kalika Moquin

Jamie McMurray Crying After Winning Daytona 500

Winning the Daytona 500 in NASCAR is as big as it gets in the sport. It’s a lifelong dream for racers and an extremely fulfilling accomplishment. This feeling could not have been more evident than after Jamie McMurray won the race Sunday, holding off a charging Dale Earnhardt Jr. to take the checkered flag. McMurray was actually saddened after the race when he found out his wife and father were no longer present because they did not sit through the entire race (it lasted six hours because of a two hour delay to fix a pothole in the track). McMurray was so overwhelmed by his win that he wound up crying after the race. Here’s the video:

It looked like McMurray’s wife did make it back to the track to celebrate his win so we can only hope his father made it back too. Jamie did an excellent job blocking Junior down the stretch to wind up in victory lane so he definitely earned it. For a guy who was almost out of a job last year, this was quite the way to start off the new racing season and after seeing that video, it’s hard not to root for the guy. Congrats to McMurray on the victory.