Kyle Orton shaved his mustache before Sunday’s game and went on to lead the Buffalo Bills to a thrilling comeback victory over the Minnesota Vikings. Before he shaved the stache, Orton was starting to look exactly like Uncle Rico from “Napoleon Dynamite.”
Mustache or no mustache, the mashup you see above of Uncle Rico throwing a game-winning touchdown pass to Sammy Watkins is still fantastic. Orton didn’t exactly throw the pigskin a quarter-mile, but he put the ball right where it needed to be. Here’s how much the two looked like each other before Orton made the highly questionable decision to shave.
Orton’s mustache was just about as good as the one this NBA All-Star was rocking earlier this year. Fortunately for Bills fans, getting rid of it wasn’t bad luck. We wouldn’t have recommended it, but it worked out for Rico — err, Orton.
Former Seattle SuperSonics center Robert Swift has found himself mixed up with the wrong crowd since his professional basketball career ended. Last year, Swift was forced to vacate his foreclosed property and left behind a disgusting mess. Earlier this month, the 28-year-old was found hanging out in a house that was filled with all kinds of illegal stuff.
According to the Kirkland Reporter, Swift was at the home of 54-year-old Trygve Lief Bjorkstam when it was raided by police on Oct. 4. The house had been monitored for over a month after police were told that drugs and stolen property were being sold there. They discovered a lot more than that when they invaded the place.
During the Oct. 4 raid, police found drug paraphernalia strewn inside of the house, as well as 26 firearms that included AK-47s, pistols and a sawed-off shotgun, according to police records.
They also discovered an entrance to a bunker located underneath his house inside his bedroom. Initially designed to be a marijuana grow operation, Bjorkstam admitted he has used it as a shooting range, the records continue. Upon further inspection, police determined that the guns had been fired while aimed at a neighbor’s house across the street.
Police reports also stated that “Johns” were seen crawling through the windows of the home to solicit prostitutes. Swift was detained during the raid but was not arrested or charged with a crime. The operation was taking place just 300 feet from an elementary school.
While Swift wasn’t charged with anything, it’s obvious he has taken some bad turns in life since retiring from basketball. I doubt he envisioned things going this badly when he was taken with the 12th overall pick in the draft.
- Robert Swift
Lakers fans better start getting used to painful videos like this one.
During Sunday’s preseason game between the Lakers and Jazz, Kobe Bryant was embarrassed on defense by Utah Jazz guard Alec Burks. Burks set Kobe up by pretending to go to his left before going behind his back. Kobe was caught reaching for the steal as Burks rode on past him in his tricycle.
Kobe swore he had it:
Now that Kobe is aging, he takes more chances on defense because he can’t stick with younger, quicker players. The 36-year-old is still recovering from knee and Achilles injures which have ruined his seasons the last two years.
Sometimes he gets burned taking chance like the video above, but other times it pays off, like earlier in the preseason against the Warriors:
Lots of people had lots to say about Peyton Manning’s record-breaking 509th career touchdown pass thrown on Sunday
night, but nobody topped Jenn Sterger.
Here’s the tweet she sent:
Hey Peyton, if that congratulatory text from "He who shall not be named" is an MMS… Prolly best to just delete that one.
— Jenn Sterger (@jennifersterger) October 20, 2014
Sterger, of course, is the former New York Jets game-day host who was hit on by Favre and sexually harassed by the one-time Jets quarterback. Favre, whose touchdown record Manning broke, admitted to leaving voicemail messages for Sterger, but he denied the penis photos were his donging I mean doing.
- Jenn Sterger
Peyton Manning threw his 509th career touchdown pass on Sunday to surpass Brett Favre’s record for most all-time career touchdown passes.
Peyton’s record-breaker went to Demaryius Thomas, who knew exactly what to do with the ball: play keep-away from Peyton.
As you can see in the video, Manning’s Broncos teammates played a little game of keep-away with the ball before it finally ended up in the hands of a rep from the Hall of Fame. Interestingly, Manning has agreed to have all his record-breaking balls go to Canton. He has a stipulation that he gets them back in case the records are broken.
I say he should pull a switcheroo like this clever fan.
Oh, and knowing what a prankster Peyton is, it should come as no surprise that the keep-away game was rehearsed:
I'm going to burst everyone's bubble here, but I'm 99 percent sure Manning and the WRs planned that keep-away celebration on Friday.
— Lindsay Jones (@bylindsayhjones) October 20, 2014
- Peyton Manning
Percy Harvin had a history of negative behavior with the Seattle Seahawks that eventually led the team to trade him to the New York Jets on Friday. Not only did he fight with teammates, but he also pulled himself out of games when things didn’t go his way.
According to FOX NFL reporter Jay Glazer, Harvin pulled himself out of a preseason game and two regular-season games this season. The most recent offense — pulling himself out of Seattle’s home loss to the Dallas Cowboys — led the team to finally trade him.
Glazer ran down this timeline of Harvin pulling himself out of games:
– First preseason game: Harvin upset about Earl Thomas returning punts in the game. Harvin did not have any stats in the game
– Final preseason game: Harvin did not travel to Oakland for it after his fight with teammate Doug Baldwin
– Second regular-season game: Harvin pulled himself out because he did not get enough touches early and was angry. He finished the game — a 30-21 loss — with one catch for 5 yards and two rushes for 45 yards and a touchdown.
– Week 6 loss to the Cowboys at home – pulls himself out
The Seahawks had so many problems with Harvin that they began quietly shopping him. They tried to trade him to the Broncos, Browns and Bucs, among others. They were prepared to release him if they could not find a trade partner, which they eventually did.
- Percy Harvin
Darnell Dockett of the Arizona Cardinals is out for the season with a torn ACL, but he was with the team in Oakland for their game against the Raiders on Sunday. Raiders fans probably wish he wasn’t.
Arizona improved to 5-1 thanks to a 24-13 victory, which dropped Oakland to 0-6, leaving them the only team in the NFL without a win this season. As if Raiders fans didn’t already know, Dockett reminded them with the above pictured sign.
Simply stating the record apparently wasn’t enough, as Dockett rubbed salt in the wound by adding “Worst team in NFL” above it. Then, there’s the smiley face inside the zero.
That’s top notch trolling.
During his first practice with the Raiders, head coach Tony Sparano had the team bury a football to symbolize the end of a disappointing first quarter of the season. The second quarter isn’t off to the best of starts either.
— Andrew Dill (@PurpleRocktober) October 19, 2014
- Darnell Dockett
Why does A-Rod always seem to get himself in the middle of things no matter what? The guy can’t even attend a Dallas Cowboys football game without making a headline for literally getting in the way.
As the Cowboys were running through the tunnel onto the field for their game with the New York Giants, A-Rod had to move out of the way because someone showed him that the team was approaching.
You think Tony Romo had a clue that was Alex Rodriguez in front of him? Probably not. He had his game face on.
Or was that a smile he was sneaking in there?
Jameel McClain messed with Tony Romo at the line of scrimmage in hilarious fashion on Sunday.
One thing quarterbacks try to do at the line of scrimmage is identify the opposing team’s “Mike” — which is a middle linebacker who generally fills the gaps and makes the stops on running plays.
Romo walked up to the line of scrimmage and identified No. 53 of the Giants (McClain) as the “Mike.” McClain messed with Romo and yelled back that he wasn’t the “Mike”! It was pretty awesome.
Chicago Bears offensive lineman Kyle Long was unhappy with the home fans for booing the team during a poor performance against the Miami Dolphins on Sunday. He also challenged them to make more noise in the right situations.
“I don’t know if upset is the word I would use,” Long said after the game via The Chicago Tribune. “But as somebody who is blood, sweat and tears like the other guys in this locker room and the coaches, the trainers, the staff, the equipment guys, to be getting booed at home when you’re walking off the field down two possessions is unacceptable. Especially when there is not a lot of noise being made on third down. Period.”
After realizing his comments would cause a stir, Long tried to clarify his position via Twitter.
Wasn't just running around blaming the fans. I was asked about it and I said what I said. I wish we were making great plays all the time too
— Kyle Long (@Ky1eLong) October 19, 2014
One person who completely understands fans booing a poor performance is tight end Martellus Bennett. He compares it to walking out of a movie.
Martellus Bennett on fans booing: “They pay for their tickets … I mean, if I go to a movie, I usually walk out if I don’t like the movie."
— Adam Hoge (@AdamHoge) October 19, 2014
Here’s a simple solution: you don’t want to be booed at home, don’t play like crap, especially when you’re a decent team.