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Genie Bouchard does not drive and still eats baby food

Genie Bouchard

Genie Bouchard is 20 years old, ranked No. 8 in the world in women’s tennis and plays with the maturity and mental approach of a veteran player. She is on magazine covers, newspaper covers and promoted heavily by the WTA Tour. She is being hailed as the next Maria Sharapova. And she still does not drive.

For all her seeming maturity, Bouchard does not have a driver’s license and says she eats baby food. Seriously.

These two great nuggets come from a New York Times profile on Bouchard:

She has refused to learn to drive — “It’s too scary” — which means that her mother still must accompany her almost everywhere.

For a snack, she often eats baby food, small jars of pears and even creamy rice cereals. She started eating them, like everyone else, as an infant, but never stopped.

Clearly Bouchard is still very much a kid at heart. In fact, in her recent Elle Quebec magazine cover story, she was asked her biggest fear.

“Getting older,” she said. “I swear, I’m really afraid of it.”

That seems pretty apparent. It also could explain why she still has a schoolgirl crush on Justin Bieber.

But don’t let any of this fool you; Bouchard is anything but immature on the court. She is motivated and driven to be one of the best tennis players in the world and is dead-set on winning her first major. She’s come close this year, having reached the finals at Wimbledon and semifinals at the French and Australian Open. She is earning her spot among the best in the world and will stay there for a long time.

Here’s Genie Bouchard with her sisters Beatrice and Charlotte:

George Brett once pooped his pants and told the story about it (Video)

George Brett once shared one of the greatest stories you will ever hear a Hall of Fame baseball player tell, and I will do my part to make sure as many people as possible hear about it.

I happened to be out with my dad and sister last night and we were talking late ’80s/early ’90s baseball since the last time my sister followed MLB was back when Ryne Sandberg and Mark Grace were manning the right side of the Chicago Cubs’ infield. One name that came up was George Brett, so naturally I had to ask whether they had seen this great video. They had not. Make sure you do.

Brett was hanging out with the Royals one spring training and decided to volunteer to one of the players that he sh-t his pants the night before. Brett, who stated that he’s good for pooping his pants about twice a year, then broke into a story about the time he crapped his pants at the Bellagio in Las Vegas a few years earlier.

The whole story is so brown it’s golden.

George Brett shit himself story

Brett says he got food poisoning from some crabs at a steakhouse and was unable to control his bowels while walking through the hotel. He called a friend to come help him and had to describe the exact spot in the hotel where he was standing because he was afraid of moving any further lest more crap come out. The friend brought him a towel and pair of pants. They went to a bathroom where George toweled off, left his clothes behind and walked through the hotel barefoot in some size 48-inch waist pants.

Think about how awesome that video is. You’ve got some poor player who obviously feels uncomfortable about the whole thing — so uncomfortable that he moves away — and Brett follows him to finish telling the story. It’s like the guy’s as proud of this story as he is about his 1980 MVP award.

What’s truly incredible is that of all the incredible details Brett shares, the way he ends it has to be the peak.

“Got up in the morning, took the most perfect double-tapered sh-t I’ve ever taken in my life. True story.”

Hang on, what the heck is a double-tapered deuce? I’d never heard that before Brett.

After Brett coins the term “double-tapered sh-t,” which by the way has made it into the Urban Dictionary, he then transitions to real baseball in the most casual manner possible.

“Who’s the pitchers in this game?”

George Brett, who poops his pants, just wants to know who’s pitching in the game. Great way to wrap up this story,. Brett.

Seriously, though, how awesome was that tale? It’s so amazing it needs to be added to Brett’s Hall of Fame plaque in Cooperstown:

“George Brett, 13-time All-Star, 1980 MVP Award winner, led the league in hitting three times and had one of the purest swings in baseball. A corner infield who spent his entire career playing for the Kansas City Royals, Brett is good for sh-tting his pants twice a year.”

I wonder what happened with the clothes he left behind in the bathroom. You think those made it onto eBay? I mean it’d be easy to DNA test and authenticate them as the real defecated clothes. I’d buy ‘em. I’d frame ‘em and toss ‘em in my living room and tell everyone that these here are the clothes George Brett was wearing the night he sh-t himself in the Bellagio. Heck, I’d pay more money for those than his pine tar bat.

Someone later created an autotone version of the story. That is below.

Joc Pederson giving away his beater of a car to fan (Video)

When it comes to ballpark giveaways, it doesn’t get much better or personal than this.

The Albuquerque Isotopes will be giving away outfielder Joc Pederson’s car to a lucky fan next week as part of an awesome giveaway. The car is a 1994 Buick Century with 166,000 miles on it and will be given away after the team’s game on Aug. 29.

The Isotopes, which is the Dodgers’ Triple-A team, had a great press release about the giveaway:

Joc Pederson car

The car, nicknamed “Little Chucky,” has only 166,000 miles on it and has at least one operable window, which is really all you need. It is perfect for cruising around during the New Mexico summers with its “awesome” stereo system and lack of air conditioning. Kelly Blue Book estimates the value at nearly $1,000 (depending on if it has a full tank of gas). Little Chucky will also come with two complimentary air fresheners and whatever else Pederson forgets to clean out.

The Isotopes guarantee 100 percent that this distinctive car will carry you all the way to your next destination out of the Isotopes Park parking lot. A satisfactory safety inspection has been completed on the vehicle.

They made even more jokes about the car, saying that the lucky winner could drive away or tow away the car after the game.

Pederson is the top prospect in the Dodgers’ system and is working on a 30-30 season — he has 31 homers and 28 stolen bases this year. It won’t be long before he’ll be making the minor league minimum and able to afford a sweeter ride. Or at least one a little more reliable than Little Chucky.

You know, this is really what Alfred Morris should have done with his 1991 Mazda.

Suns offer Eric Bledsoe for Kevin Love trade to T-Wolves

Eric Bledsoe SunsThe Kevin Love trade to the Cleveland Cavaliers has been agreed upon and is expected to go through on Saturday, but that didn’t stop the Phoenix Suns from making a last-minute offer for the big man.

According to ESPN, the Suns offered Eric Bledsoe to Minnesota for Love in a sign-and-trade deal.

Bledsoe and the Suns are at odds over the emerging guard’s contract situation.

Bledsoe is a restricted free agent and has been offered a 4-year, $48 million deal by the team. Bledsoe is seeking a max deal for 5 years and $80 million from Phoenix, or a max deal of four years and $64 million if another team signs him to a max offer sheet.

After a contentious offseason where the relationship between Bledsoe and the Suns soured, reports said this week that the Suns were finally willing to sign-and-trade deals for the point guard. They’re not going to get Love for him, but this further shows they’re looking to trade Bledsoe.

Klay Thompson said to be ‘pissed’ Warriors considered trading him

Klay ThompsonThe Golden State Warriors were one of the teams most prominently mentioned in the Kevin Love trade conversations, and the talks largely centered around their willingness to include Klay Thompson in a potential deal.

The Warriors reportedly were reluctant to include Thompson in a package for Love, though some reports said they finally were willing to trade him. In the end, the Timberwolves agreed to trade Love to the Cavaliers for Andrew Wiggins and Anthony Bennett.

Though he was not traded, Thompson supposedly is unhappy Golden State talked about dealing him.

Bleacher Report’s Ric Bucher says the Warriors have to do some fence-mending with Thompson and David Lee, whose name also appeared in trade talks. A source told Bucher that Thompson was “pissed” the team seriously considered trading him.

You can say Thompson needs to toughen up and get used to the rumor mill since being mentioned in trade talks are part of the business, but these guys are still humans and being mentioned in trades can easily hurt someone’s feelings. I understand why he’d be upset. If there’s anyone he should commiserate with, it’s Pau Gasol, who was mentioned in trade talks every week his last few years with the Lakers.

Chest bump to Pro Basketball Talk

Mike Evans gets in big fight outside club (Video)

Mike EvansMike Evans’ NFL career is not getting off to the greatest start, and you know the Tampa Bay Buccaneers cannot be happy with their rookie after this.

TMZ released video Friday of a fight Evans was a part of that they say took place outside a nightclub on Saturday night.

Evans, who turned 21 on Thursday, supposedly was inside the 21-and-over club last weekend despite being 20 years old. The video shows Evans upset and yelling while seemingly in a dispute with some of the club’s staffers. He throws some punches and darts around during the fight.

No arrests were made despite the obvious assaults.

Evans was an All-American and voted first-team All-SEC last season. He left for the draft following his redshirt sophomore season at Texas A&M and was drafted No. 7 overall by Tampa Bay.

Floyd Mayweather reading radio promos didn’t go well (Audio)

Floyd Mayweather honey coffeeRemember Thursday when 50 Cent had some fun with former best buddy Floyd Mayweather Jr. by challenging the boxer to read a page of Harry Potter? The rapper said he would donate big money to charity — $750,000 — if Floyd could read a page of the book without struggling. Now we know why he said that.

A show called “The Breakfast Club” on Power 105.1 FM realized that they had some audio of Floyd reading and played it on Friday. The audio shows Mayweather trying to read some promos/liners for the station.

Based on listening to the audio, Floyd really struggles to read the liner and has to start and stop multiple times. It sounds like he has a very low reading level and/or might have a learning disability.

Keep in mind a few things — Mayweather grew up with a boxing education and probably did not have much of an emphasis on schooling. His mother was a drug addict, his aunt died from AIDS due to drugs and his dad went to prison after being caught smuggling drugs. Floyd dropped out of high school to focus on boxing.

“I knew that I was going to have to try to take care of my mom and I made the decision that school wasn’t that important at the time and I was going to have to box to earn a living,” Mayweather told the New York Daily News in 2007.

Mayweather may struggle to read, and that can be a source of humor for many people because it’s one area where we can proclaim we’re better than the wealthy world champion boxer, but don’t let this audio fool you into thinking that Floyd is a dummy. He’s not the smartest guy, but he sure is one heck of a businessman. He’s a very sharp businessman.

Maybe being embarrassed by his inability to read will lead Floyd to work on his education when he’s done boxing.

H/T Jocks and Stiletto Jill