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Monday, August 29, 2016


Chris Kluwe Mocks NFL Injury Faking Memo on Whiteboard (Picture)

Chris Kluwe could be the most famous punter in the history of football.  In order to achieve that title, it is not enough to simply be a quality player at that position. You could average 60 yards per punt throughout your career and still remain relatively unknown in the NFL.  Unfortunately, the position receives little to no glory.  Luckily we have people like Kluwe who make up for it in other ways.

You may be familiar with Kluwe because he called Peyton Manning and Drew Brees douchebags or made Donovan McNabb a hilarious offer in exchange for his jersey number.  Or perhaps you know Kluwe for his whiteboard antics, which he was back at on Thursday making fun of a recent NFL memo.


Some Players Reportedly Feel Like Carson Palmer Wussed Out on the Bengals

Carson Palmer made it clear this offseason that he would never play another game for the Cincinnati Bengals. As early as January he demanded a trade, and a few months later he maintained his position saying he would never set foot in Paul Brown Stadium again. Palmer has held to his word and has been tailgating at USC games (and working out on his own) instead of preparing for NFL opponents. That apparently isn’t sitting well with some players around the league.

In his 10-point stance column, Mike Freeman of CBS Sports writes:

“There are players around the league ripping Palmer as a chump who was afraid to take on the challenge of sticking with the Bengals and making them good again. Some players are calling him the word that is slang for a cat. They also feel he’s getting a pass from the media.”

I will defend Carson Palmer to death on this point. When the Bengals drafted Carson in 2003, they hadn’t had a winning season since 1990. It was a terrible situation and the franchise had seen highly-drafted quarterback after highly-drafted quarterback come in there and flop. Nevertheless, Palmer embraced the franchise and promised to turn them around. He did. In his second year as the team’s starter, he led them to an 11-5 record and a playoff appearance. He made two Pro Bowls, led them to the playoffs twice, and was one of the league’s better starters until an elbow injury ruined his arm strength.


Bill Belichick Dressed as a Pirate for Halloween Roller Skating Party

There were many interesting aspects of the Bill Belichick: A Football Life documentary that aired on NFL Network. Nothing was more captivating, though, than seeing the notoriously uptight coach dressed as a pirate for the players’ Halloween roller skating party:

Not pictured: Randy Moss dressed as SpongeBob, Vince Wilfork as Fred Flintsone. And no, this wasn’t a halucination, and no, you did not drop some acid before reading this post. Bill Belichick loves Halloween and really dressed up like a pirate in 2009. Your life is now complete and you may die happily.

Pic via Mike Tunison aka Christmas Ape

Leo Nunez Has Been Playing Under Fake Name; He’s Really Juan Carlos Oviedo

Don’t expect to see Leo Nunez pitching in the big leagues ever again. Juan Carlos Oviedo might close a few games down the road, but Leo Nunez is retiring.

The Marlins placed closer Leo Nunez on the restricted list this week, and he’s not expected to pitch the rest of the season. The Associated Press reports that Nunez is in the Dominican Republic because he’s been playing under an assumed name. They add that he is really 29 years old, not 28 as is listed in his bio.

I really wonder what took them so long. “Leo” is about the whitest name you can find. Have you ever heard of someone from the Dominican Republic named Leo? That was just a dead giveaway.

But when it comes to Dominican baseball players lying about their age, this is nothing new. Next thing you know we’re going to be told that SEC teams cheat and that the Yankees spend a lot of money. Who would believe such a thing?

This may also explain why Nunez went from having a sub-3.50 ERA in July to getting lit up in August. Hard to pitch when you have this sort of thing on your mind. (Or maybe it was just normal wear and tear).

via Rotoworld

Tigers Could Play Miguel Cabrera at Third if they Reach World Series

Tigers manager Jim Leyland isn’t predicting his team will reach the World Series this year, he’s just preparing for a best-case scenario. On Wednesday, Leyland had first baseman Miguel Cabrera take ground balls at third before the team’s game against Kansas City. The reasoning behind the move is pretty simple: Leyland wants to put his best offensive lineup on the field even when they lose the DH in a National League park.

Detroit’s regular lineup features Alex Avila at catcher, Cabrera at first, and Victor Martinez DHing. Those three players have been Detroit’s best hitters this year.

Unfortunately, during interleague play games they would routinely lose one of those hitters. Often times Avila would catch, and either Cabrera or Victor would play first or sit out. Martinez caught a few games to keep both his and Cabrera’s bats in the lineup. They even played Avila at third once to keep the offense stacked.

Moving Cabrera to third for a few games may seem strange, but it actually makes sense. You may recall that Miggy played third and left field when he was first called up by the Marlins in 2003. He even played two full seasons at the hot corner in ’05 and ’06, and the Tigers played him there for 14 games in 2008. He may seem content as an immobile first baseman these days, but once upon a time he was a butcher at third and in the outfield. Detroit fans should only wish to see a repeat of those days in the coming weeks.

South Florida Going with Camouflage Helmet for Wounded Warrior Project

South Florida will wear specially designed Under Armour camouflage uniforms for their November 19th game against Miami as a tribute to the military. The tribute will be in conjunction with the Wounded Warrior Project. Several teams have worn the camo unis in the past (we showed you Utah’s last year), but this is the first time I recall seeing camouflaged helmets:

USF Nation shared those pictures so we are assuming that’s what will be worn. I was never a big fan of the camouflaged uniforms, but I definitely can support the helmets. That’s pretty sick.

Thanks to The Bull Rush and Kegs N Eggs for the tip

Boise State Corn Maze is Here (Picture)

We’ve seen a Tim Thomas corn maze tribute, a John Calipari corn maze, and now we have a Boise State football maze. This corn maze comes from Linder Farms in Meridian, Idaho.

Pictured is the Boise State logo, a quarterbacking throwing a ball, and the new Mountain West Conference logo. The Idaho Statesman says this is the third straight year Linder Farms has featured a Boise State theme. The maze is mighty impressive, but if they had any real skills they would have made the quarterback a lefty. Just sayin’.

Helmet knock to Dr. Saturday for the story

Hal Gill Was Busting His Teammates’ Chops from Secret Twitter Account

Montreal Canadiens defenseman Hal Gill has been busting his teammates’ chops from a secret Twitter account, informs us. Gil began tweeting from his @PeanutGreen25 account last December. In April, he may have tipped off his identity when he tweeted “Summer of Hal.”

He’s only sent 126 tweets from the account, but many of them are strong. For instance, he ragged on teammate Mathiew Darche in May, writing to him “try playing “dad” you deadbeat!!! Haha.”

One of his favorite targets seems to be teammate P.K. Subban. Gill directed this tweet to Subban last week:

25 Stanley has more funny tweets from Gill, so I suggest you head over there to read them. The only problem now that 25 Stanley exposed Gill’s account is that people are fearful he’ll no longer tweet the same. Hopefully this doesn’t change him because he has some good stuff on there.

Raul Lopez Makes Diving Catch on Foul Ball at Yankees Game (Video)

Remember the name Raul Lopez? If it sounds familiar to you, it’s because Raul is the father of Christian Lopez, the Yankees fan who caught Derek Jeter’s 3,000th hit. In exchange for returning the milestone ball to Jeter, the Yankees gave Christian four box seats to Yankees home games the rest of the season. On Wednesday night, father Raul made good use of the tickets with a sweet diving grab on a foul ball:


Cross Country Runner Carries Injured Opponent a Half Mile for Treatment

Andover High School cross country runner Josh Ripley carried an opponent a half mile after noticing the other runner was injured. Ripley was competing in the Applejack Invite in Lakeville, Minn. when he heard screams coming from another runner. While everyone else ran past the wounded runner, Ripley stopped to assist him.

Turns out Lakeville South runner Mark Paulauskas was bleeding from his ankle after getting spiked. Ripley was worried that Paulauskas punctured his Achilles, so he carried the injured runner a half mile to his parents and coaches before rejoining the race. Paulauskas ended up being taken to the hospital where he received more than 20 stitches.

So why did Ripley stop to help Paulauskas when everyone else ran by him?

“I didn’t think about my race, I knew I needed to stop and help him,” Josh said. “It was something I would expect my other teammates to do. I’m nothing special; I was just in the right place at the right time.”

Ripley may not think his actions were special, but they were. He’ll be honored by the school board on Monday for his excellent display of sportsmanship.

Chest bump to Off the Bench for the story

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